S**t Southern Women Say

TOO FUNNY! ROTFLMAO........

Cute.

Merry

don't see where the connection is with John, he is gay, and no I am not from Carolina.

John has stated in the past that they are moving to North Carolina when the house sells. Has nothing to do with him being gay but he will run into these types in grocery stores, restaurants and on the street. They are very special women and given time, they will let you know that fact. For example, we were standing in line waiting to get into a restaurant for breakfast in Gatlinburg, TN when a group of this type from the Carolinas attempted to butt to the front of the line. People jumped their case to which they replied: "we never stand in a line at home"! The line was comprised of tourists from all over and gave the "Southern gals" a verbal lesson. To which they replied: "Well we never!" and stormed off.

Get used to hearing "Bless your heart!" because it is as useful as the word "y'all." Here's a good definition:

"A term used prior to ridiculing, insulting the sensibilities of, or pointing out the shortcomings of someone. Used to soften the blow of a statement, and can render nearly any comment, no matter how brash or distasteful, socially acceptable.

Wife- Honey, do these jeans make me look fat?

Husband- Bless your heart, dear, but you've been a whale for the last ten years and I still can hardly believe you haven't imploded into a black hole due to the force of your gravity yet, so no matter what you wear, you'll still be a walking pork rind.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bless+your+heart

Merry

Oh yeah.....I'm living smack dab in the middle of it all.

CheenaGringo wrote:John has stated in the past that they are moving to North Carolina when the house sells. Has nothing to do with him being gay but he will run into these types in grocery stores, restaurants and on the street. They are very special women and given time, they will let you know that fact. For example, we were standing in line waiting to get into a restaurant for breakfast in Gatlinburg, TN when a group of this type from the Carolinas attempted to butt to the front of the line. People jumped their case to which they replied: "we never stand in a line at home"! The line was comprised of tourists from all over and gave the "Southern gals" a verbal lesson. To which they replied: "Well we never!" and stormed off.

A clever anecdote, Neil; however, there is, of course, no tradition in the southern U.S. of allowing women to break line for any reason at any event or to enter any business so, if I were the reader I would not waste time fretting about whether or not local customs in the U.S. South dictate allowing anyone to cut line unless they are clearly handicapped and in need of immediate assistance. Since I know you and believe that you would not relate an apocryphal story as an actual event, I believe this incident happened but I wish to assure all of you that this would be an unusual occurrence and, if you ever are waiting in a public line for any reason while in the south, you may feel free to confront anyone so crass as to break the line - a behavior that would be considered the height of rudeness in that region and an entirely "unladylike" breaking of the unwritten social contract.

The real thing to avoid when visiting Gatlinburg, TN is to dine in any restaurant where people, whether locals or tourists, line up and wait to be served breakfast. I am reminded of an old Dick Gregory joke from the 1970s where he commented that the real test of bravery of the Freedom Riders back in the 1960s was not their willingness to stand up to the mob of white racists confronting and threatening them at the Greyhound Bus Terminal lunch counter in Montgomery but their willingness to actually eat the dreadful food served at the lunch counter at a Greyhound Bus Station anywhere in the south.

The only place I´ve ever traveled in the world where women were actually expected to break the line was at cinema houses in India back in the 60s and I think that was because the local guys routinely physically pawed any woman crass enough to wait in line at the cinema so the tradition had evolved that women automatically went to the front of the line when going to the movies. I think they also had segregated seating but am not sure of that. By the way, the movies there were raucous affairs with the audience constantly shouting and throwing popcorn at the screen.

I was unable to view that video above because my sound system is not working this morning but I look forward to viewing the video later.

Lawd ha mercy, I think I know a few of them southern gals.

Newsflash, durn is no longer in their vocabulary, they have graduated to New Yawk style cursin' y'all.

ROTFLMAO!!!

Dawg:

As you may or not know, Gatlinburg is not only a tourist town but also a hot spot for conventions and trade shows. In this particular case, there was a National trade show and the town was taxed because of everyone wishing to eat prior to the show opening. Standing in line for breakfast was the accepted norm.

[quote="CheenaGringo"]Dawg:

As you may or not know, Gatlinburg is not only a tourist town but also a hot spot for conventions and trade shows. In this particular case, there was a National trade show and the town was taxed because of everyone wishing to eat prior to the show opening. Standing in line for breakfast was the accepted norm.[/quote]

That, however, does not explain how these floozies thought they could choke on cheese grits, ham hocks, poke salat, eggs over easy, Karo Syrup, corn pone, Tabasco Sauce, turnip fritters, red-eye gravy and Tennessee Sippin´ Whiskey before Reverend Billy Bob showed up and condemned everybody eating there to hell before those other other losers got served at the Gatlinburg Holiday Inn with a view of whatever river flows through that foothill craphole. There must be a better destination.

The trade shows must have put a strain on RVs available that week in Des Moines.

hound dog wrote:[quote="CheenaGringo"]Dawg:

As you may or not know, Gatlinburg is not only a tourist town but also a hot spot for conventions and trade shows. In this particular case, there was a National trade show and the town was taxed because of everyone wishing to eat prior to the show opening. Standing in line for breakfast was the accepted norm.

That, however, does not explain how these floozies thought they could choke on cheese grits, ham hocks, poke salat, eggs over easy, Karo Syrup, corn pone, Tabasco Sauce, turnip fritters, red-eye gravy and Tennessee Sippin´ Whiskey before Reverend Billy Bob showed up and condemned everybody eating there to hell before those other other losers got served at the Gatlinburg Holiday Inn with a view of whatever river flows through that foothill craphole. There must be a better destination.

The trade shows must have put a strain on RVs available that week in Des Moines.[/quote]


As Billyboy Clinton used to say. Don't come a knockin' if the trailer's a rockin'.

E-raq wrote:

hound dog wrote:[quote="CheenaGringo"]Dawg:

As you may or not know, Gatlinburg is not only a tourist town but also a hot spot for conventions and trade shows. In this particular case, there was a National trade show and the town was taxed because of everyone wishing to eat prior to the show opening. Standing in line for breakfast was the accepted norm.

That, however, does not explain how these floozies thought they could choke on cheese grits, ham hocks, poke salat, eggs over easy, Karo Syrup, corn pone, Tabasco Sauce, turnip fritters, red-eye gravy and Tennessee Sippin´ Whiskey before Reverend Billy Bob showed up and condemned everybody eating there to hell before those other other losers got served at the Gatlinburg Holiday Inn with a view of whatever river flows through that foothill craphole. There must be a better destination.

The trade shows must have put a strain on RVs available that week in Des Moines.

I declare.... did someone say sumptin about Ham Hocks?

"I declare.... did someone say sumptin about Ham Hocks?"

It´s not "I declare" but "Ah do decla´uh, yáll" as in, "Well, Ah do decla´uh, yáll (spoken around the luncheon table at the Elite Cafe, (pronounced "E-light") by well-heeled upper-middle class white ladies from the adjacent hinterlands getting drunk at lunch at Montgomery´s most esteemed restaurant in 1957 (and actually quite a good place for fine Gulf seafood and extra dry martinis served in coffee cups as long as you had the good sense to be caucasion or appear to be caucasion), which was a Greek restaurant as were many of the best restaurants in those days in Alabama and the famous Greek chef and proprietor of the Elite Cafe would never have disdained to have served anything steamed with ham hocks to rest beside his noted Greek Salad and char broiled Grouper or Red Snapper with baked russet potato.

To understand the gravity of having preceded a sentence with the term, "Uh do decla´uh, yáll...." in Montgomery in those days, it is important to propose a couple of emphatic statements that would normally be expected to follow that opening declaration setting the stage for the following statement of some moment. For instance:

"Ah do decla´uh yáll, that Betty Sue Johnson´s new boy Ralph Bob, popped out of the womb exactly seven months and 27 days after she married Judge Johnson down in Haleyville. Talk about premature! Yes, (to the inquiring Greek waiter just arriived in Mobile from Greece on that freighter from Pireaus) Ah do thank Ah´ll have another martini but with three olives this time - Ha, Ha, Ah do declaúh those are excellent martinis. We should take some back to Greenville with us in a brown paper bag to enjoy on the way home."

or:

"Ah do decla´uh, yáll, that Martin Luther King has certainly stirred up our local 'nigras' to a turn. Next thang you know they´ll be demanding to vote or eat down in the dining room instead of the kitchen at the Rainbow Grill and then God hep us they´ll be wanting to date our precious daughters. Perish the thought. "

Come to think of it, that sounds like Lakeside circa 2012 as much as Montgomery circa 1957. Ah do decla´uh!

"The Princess" comes in all sizes and shapes, all nationalities and colours and is found all over the world. They're all rude, nasty and ill mannered.
However, the Southern Princess is the only one who sounds sweet and innocent and "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth(ish)" while declaring their truth... cloying and sickeningly sweet.

[quote="ferret"]"The Princess" comes in all sizes and shapes, all nationalities and colours and is found all over the world. They're all rude, nasty and ill mannered.
However, the Southern Princess is the only one who sounds sweet and innocent and "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth(ish)" while declaring their truth... cloying and sickeningly sweet.[/quote]

Perhaps. but it´s that "melt in (their) mouth(s)" part that counts in the final analysis. As David Peraeus could attest, sexual arousal beats four stars and 36 years of marriage anyday if one needs to give up one or the other and the recipient has a sufficiently aware sense of his importance on the world stage but the fleeting value of fame among the unwashed.

hound dog wrote:[quote="ferret"]"The Princess" comes in all sizes and shapes, all nationalities and colours and is found all over the world. They're all rude, nasty and ill mannered.
However, the Southern Princess is the only one who sounds sweet and innocent and "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth(ish)" while declaring their truth... cloying and sickeningly sweet.

Perhaps. but it´s that "melt in (their) mouth(s)" part that counts in the final analysis. As David Peraeus could attest, sexual arousal beats four stars and 36 years of marriage anyday if one needs to give up one or the other and the recipient has a sufficiently aware sense of his importance on the world stage but the fleeting value of fame among the unwashed. [/quote]


Say what Dawg? Maybe a rephrase for we, the vast unwashed masses.

E-raq wrote:

hound dog wrote:[quote="ferret"]"The Princess" comes in all sizes and shapes, all nationalities and colours and is found all over the world. They're all rude, nasty and ill mannered.
However, the Southern Princess is the only one who sounds sweet and innocent and "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth(ish)" while declaring their truth... cloying and sickeningly sweet.

Perhaps. but it´s that "melt in (their) mouth(s)" part that counts in the final analysis. As David Peraeus could attest, sexual arousal beats four stars and 36 years of marriage anyday if one needs to give up one or the other and the recipient has a sufficiently aware sense of his importance on the world stage but the fleeting value of fame among the unwashed.

Say what Dawg? Maybe a rephrase for we, the vast unwashed masses. [/quote]

You´ll have to ask the general, E-raq. Dawg never achieved success in the military beyond Marine Corps Rifleman Corporal while stationed at Quantico in 1967. Had I been indiscrete, as I occasionally may have been, the news would have been contained as a non-event.

I do understand the "...cloying and sickningly sweet." part pertaining to Southern Belles which is why I chose to live with a European when the choice presented itself. In the deep south, Scarlett ends up owning the general store and Rhett ends up swilling booze in the gutter and trying to recollect when that freight train mowed him down.

hound dog wrote:

E-raq wrote:

hound dog wrote:[quote="ferret"]"The Princess" comes in all sizes and shapes, all nationalities and colours and is found all over the world. They're all rude, nasty and ill mannered.
However, the Southern Princess is the only one who sounds sweet and innocent and "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth(ish)" while declaring their truth... cloying and sickeningly sweet.

Perhaps. but it´s that "melt in (their) mouth(s)" part that counts in the final analysis. As David Peraeus could attest, sexual arousal beats four stars and 36 years of marriage anyday if one needs to give up one or the other and the recipient has a sufficiently aware sense of his importance on the world stage but the fleeting value of fame among the unwashed.

Say what Dawg? Maybe a rephrase for we, the vast unwashed masses.

You´ll have to ask the general, E-raq. Dawg never achieved success in the military beyond Marine Corps Rifleman Corporal while stationed at Quantico in 1967. Had I been indiscrete, as I occasionally may have been, the news would have been contained as a non-event.

I do understand the "...cloying and sickningly sweet." part pertaining to Southern Belles which is why I chose to live with a European when the choice presented itself. In the deep south, Scarlett ends up owning the general store and Rhett ends up swilling booze in the gutter and trying to recollect when that freight train mowed him down. [/quote]


A most fortunate choice Dawg. Imagine Alabama in the stinkin' heat with one of those melt in the mouth babes who doesn't know how to cook, and only speaks one language, Southern Drawl.

Y'all got lucky, Brigitte is a gem.

a gem??How about a saint!

Personally, I have believed that Brigitte is capable of "walking on water" for quite some time!

But that's Dawg just below the surface isn't it? :)