why DO people leave?

holdrja wrote:STOP HIJACKING THIS THREAD!! There, is that clear enough for you?

Sorry you don't understand the importance of the Internet to some folks especially the ones coming down to do remote business.  Yes most of us don't care so ignore our comments. How hard is that?

Zed, if people have not yet gotten the message in this thread that the Internet is slow here you continuing to yammer on about it won't help them. Sorry that you don't understand that further discussion about internet speed should be taken to its own thread for a detailed discussion among the people for whom it is really, really, really important. (See, I got it.) This one is about the reasons people choose to leave, not the Zed Show About Internet Speed. Stop hijacking it for your own special interest.

Well, I get speeds of 20 all the time in that horrible slum called Riberas where my street is in better shape than many in Ajijic.  

There are lots of people who just aren't cut out for living in a place unlike what they're used to and there's nothing wrong with that & they're better off going back.  The novelty of having a maid for some people who have never had household help wears off quickly when the maid steals the jewelry and they either get smarter with the experience like I did or throw up their hands.  Every little annoyance from not finding the right thing at the grocery store magnifies.  And then there's that final straw and boom, "Let's go back to Peoria, Herbert.  I can't take this any more."

I've had newly retired friends who for the first time are spending more time with their SO's than they ever did.  Add to that a new place with a foreign (to them) language.  Again, it's back to Peoria because they keep hearing from their friends NOB about what all they're doing & they feel they're missing out.  Then there are the grandkids.

I'm glad that people who don't fit here go back.  It's best for them & us.  You know those crabby people at Walmart?  Unhappy.  Personally, I feel like a tourist in the States.  I don't fit any more.  It's me not the US.  I haven't lived there since 1982 and never took out the extra parts of Medicare.  My health insurance at 72 came in at 38,000 pesos with a 50,000 peso deductible (used to be $5,000 US).

CanuckBob wrote:I think for some the novelty just wears off. I heard someone state that they were leaving after 5 years because it wasn't quaint and charming anymore.

I think you'r probably right on target. Seriously: living from paycheck to paycheck, with some periods of NO paycheck, is a different life than having enough, with a little extra for trips and treats. That's the reality for most of our Mexican neighbors in the villages around the lake. Their ability to find joy in life wherever possible is amazing, and very admirable.

Personally, the thing I miss most about the U.S. is the opportunity to see more of our family. They're all adults. No little ones. They do visit here, but I understand why people want to be there to watch their grandchildren grow.

We will be returning to Canada to play a bigger role in our granddaughter's life (not just faces on a computer screen).
Also because the novelty has mostly worn off, and we need to start a new adventure.
We will most likely return to being snowbirds in places like Arizona and Mexico and will return here from time to time.
We have loved our time here, but it's time for moving on.

The opposite question to this would be, why do people stay, especially if they miss family NOB? In many cases, moving back NOB is not an option, due to the higher cost of living up there. For some, even flying up to visit family is not in their budget anymore.

I think that we all make the best decisions at the moment in time, but circumstances change, and we must learn to be happy in our current situation. Living with a constant regret about choices only drains us, physically and emotionally.

When I wake up every morning, I'm just thankful to have another day on this earth, and do the best I can wherever I am (and at this moment, I think I'm in a pretty darn good place in this world!)

It's a matter of degree, IMO. Do they miss family enough to be willing to give up what they have here and live in today's USA? We've only been back to the USA once, for four days, in twelve years. That was enough.

There's been a lot written about the stages of living in a foreign land.  A common list includes:

1)  Honeymoon stage  (this weather in January?  Woo hoo!)
2)  Culture shock stage  (the local grocery doesn't stock everything I like?  why doesn't someone make that barking dog, stop barking?)
3)  Initial Adjustments stage  (I'm getting things done even though my Spanish stinks ... I'm fine most days, but there's definitely ups and downs)
4)  Feeling Isolated and/or Homesick stage  (It's different being in the minority, kinda stinks.  Miss seeing the family every long weekend.  The potato chips back home are better.  Geez these roads suck)
5)  Acceptance and Integration stage  (this weather in January? Woo hoo!  A lot of this Mexican food is pretty good actually.  Got some friends now, and my Spanish is coming along.  Looking forward to that thing on Saturday).

Some people never get beyond 3) and 4) ... or after being in 5) for awhile boomerang backwards.

Resonates with me, as someone who's lived in a few countries.

We have a good starting place.  Being from Oregon and living in Mississippi.... is like living in a foreign country.  I think Mexico will suit us MUCH better.

CanuckBob wrote:When we lived back home the kids would come by for dinner or a quick visit every couple of weeks or so. Most of the time was spent watching TV or on their phones. When they come down here to visit once or twice a year we spend a full week or two of quality time together. Much better change in that regard. I also spend more time with my own parents since moving here as they also come down and stay for weeks and months at a time.

I totally agree ... quality time has increased with visits fewer and farther between...

I do have a new concern with this Zica Virus business.... I have advised the kids.. best not to come south for a while.

We do a few months North every summer.... very happy to return " home " ta sunny ole Mexico every time...

Zika seems to be cropping up all over.

UrbanMan wrote:There's been a lot written about the stages of living in a foreign land.  A common list includes:

1)  Honeymoon stage  (this weather in January?  Woo hoo!)
2)  Culture shock stage  (the local grocery doesn't stock everything I like?  why doesn't someone make that barking dog, stop barking?)
3)  Initial Adjustments stage  (I'm getting things done even though my Spanish stinks ... I'm fine most days, but there's definitely ups and downs)
4)  Feeling Isolated and/or Homesick stage  (It's different being in the minority, kinda stinks.  Miss seeing the family every long weekend.  The potato chips back home are better.  Geez these roads suck)
5)  Acceptance and Integration stage  (this weather in January? Woo hoo!  A lot of this Mexican food is pretty good actually.  Got some friends now, and my Spanish is coming along.  Looking forward to that thing on Saturday).

Some people never get beyond 3) and 4) ... or after being in 5) for awhile boomerang backwards.

Resonates with me, as someone who's lived in a few countries.

UrbanMan.....that's perfect! I think I'm at stage 3, and I hope I can skip past 4 and go straight to 5 and stay there!

CanuckBob wrote:When we lived back home the kids would come by for dinner or a quick visit every couple of weeks or so. Most of the time was spent watching TV or on their phones. When they come down here to visit once or twice a year we spend a full week or two of quality time together. Much better change in that regard. I also spend more time with my own parents since moving here as they also come down and stay for weeks and months at a time.

I'd love that but right now, my family can't afford to travel down here to visit, and I can't afford to visit them very much, because they're spread out over half of Canada! I'd have to choose between visiting my son and grandkids on the east coast, or visiting the rest of my family in Ontario......can't do both on the same trip! And I definitely can't afford to do more than one trip per year, if that!

kipissippi wrote:We have a good starting place.  Being from Oregon and living in Mississippi.... is like living in a foreign country.  I think Mexico will suit us MUCH better.

I think Mexico will do more than suit you to a T kippy. You can make it the home of your dreams. I see you on about 20 - 50 acres with the perfect house (after you remodel), land, stables, and all the barnyard animals and dogs and cats that will make your place homey. I see a large sweet Mexican family living close by who will become your everything family. Mom will be your housekeeper, dad will work and manage your property. Their older son will work and train and care for you horses. The younger kids will take care of the barn yard animals and collect the eggs and feed the chickens, collect fire wood etc while they laugh and play and do all that cute kid stuff. Mom, will cook for you if you wish. And you will fall in love with what you have been so lucky to find, and that's just openers. You'll have too many friends and too many things yo to do but not enough time (boo-hoo). You will have legendary night time parties/BBQs inviting your friends and your neighbors, and you will hire a couple of teens to serve drinks, take care of the small stuff an clean up afterwords. The only thing you have to do is send out the invitations and supervise your crew. I see your 2 story 5 bedroom hacienda style house with all the features designed by you. Sweeping lake and mountain views from your incredible house decorated with your art treasures anything else you can imagine.

I know you will have a big art studio and I'll bet you befriend a young lady or two who would die to be your apprentices. You could also pay them a little and they could be your helper(s), makers of snacks, snag drinks and clean up the mess you'll make in a frenzied paint splashathon.

I know this all sounds like a monumental oversell/fantasy but everyone on this board will respond and help and tell you ask and they will tell you if they think I'm full of BS. (most do anyway) but can get any and all questions answered.

Now the following is something to consider, really, big time, right now. Until the presidential election the Mexican peso will be bouncing off the walls. Right now it's down to the lowest exchange rate I've seen in 10 years. Why? International investors and bankers etc are watching the peso like hawks. If they think Trump will win they will take their money and run. That situation is really something to understand asap or consult with someone like our very own David. Bribe him, pay him, do something to get 15 minutes of his time on the phone. You got money questions he has the answers. There will be a best time to buy and if you catch it you will get a lot of land and a house to die for at a very nice discount. I don't know your time line but you can always PM Dave and see which way the wind is blowing. He's the kind of guy who is trusted, respected and he will take care of you.

Anyway, now's a great time to move here and I guarantee you'll love it.

So my fellow lakeside-lites what do ya'll think? Our friend Kippy is getting ready to take the plunge and when she does it will be big time, and she will want the best advice.

Schmoozing for a party invite,

I moved back 3 years ago for "family issues from hell". I had a pretty good life here for 2 1/2 years working in GDL and finally lakeside teaching English. After 3 years NOB, I got tired of "family problems from hell", high unfair rents, absolutely ridiculous employment situations, and recent over the top politics that one can hardly wrap head around, and unaffordable food prices. Say nothing of American sentiment in general. I've been back a week and happy as a lark. In the meantime up there, I threw in the towel and took early SS. I thought i was going to work until 66. Why? So I could create some evil health problems from the stress of working in a broke mental health or state system? To hell with 'em.

Congrats, T, good for you. Hell with 'em is right.

Good for you lilkoi, besides physical your mental state has gone to heaven. A rather nice place to be.

oncesubtle wrote:

kipissippi wrote:We have a good starting place.  Being from Oregon and living in Mississippi.... is like living in a foreign country.  I think Mexico will suit us MUCH better.

I think Mexico will do more than suit you to a T kippy. You can make it the home of your dreams. I see you on about 20 - 50 acres with the perfect house (after you remodel), land, stables, and all the barnyard animals and dogs and cats that will make your place homey. I see a large sweet Mexican family living close by who will become your everything family. Mom will be your housekeeper, dad will work and manage your property. Their older son will work and train and care for you horses. The younger kids will take care of the barn yard animals and collect the eggs and feed the chickens, collect fire wood etc while they laugh and play and do all that cute kid stuff. Mom, will cook for you if you wish. And you will fall in love with what you have been so lucky to find, and that's just openers. You'll have too many friends and too many things yo to do but not enough time (boo-hoo). You will have legendary night time parties/BBQs inviting your friends and your neighbors, and you will hire a couple of teens to serve drinks, take care of the small stuff an clean up afterwords. The only thing you have to do is send out the invitations and supervise your crew. I see your 2 story 5 bedroom hacienda style house with all the features designed by you. Sweeping lake and mountain views from your incredible house decorated with your art treasures anything else you can imagine.

I know you will have a big art studio and I'll bet you befriend a young lady or two who would die to be your apprentices. You could also pay them a little and they could be your helper(s), makers of snacks, snag drinks and clean up the mess you'll make in a frenzied paint splashathon.

I know this all sounds like a monumental oversell/fantasy but everyone on this board will respond and help and tell you ask and they will tell you if they think I'm full of BS. (most do anyway) but can get any and all questions answered.

Now the following is something to consider, really, big time, right now. Until the presidential election the Mexican peso will be bouncing off the walls. Right now it's down to the lowest exchange rate I've seen in 10 years. Why? International investors and bankers etc are watching the peso like hawks. If they think Trump will win they will take their money and run. That situation is really something to understand asap or consult with someone like our very own David. Bribe him, pay him, do something to get 15 minutes of his time on the phone. You got money questions he has the answers. There will be a best time to buy and if you catch it you will get a lot of land and a house to die for at a very nice discount. I don't know your time line but you can always PM Dave and see which way the wind is blowing. He's the kind of guy who is trusted, respected and he will take care of you.

Anyway, now's a great time to move here and I guarantee you'll love it.

So my fellow lakeside-lites what do ya'll think? Our friend Kippy is getting ready to take the plunge and when she does it will be big time, and she will want the best advice.

Schmoozing for a party invite,

Sounds amazing Bob, But I think this time we want to scale down. We have 50 fifty acres the nice house, big horse barn, studio, shop and critters up the ying yang. No help of course. I think smaller this time.. Not so many animals, more time for just kicking back and doing art projects when I really WANT to. Not so many emergencies.. shit happens when you have lots of critters...especially the big ones... along with my little cow and milk goats I have 15 horses..a foal due in two weeks and a miniature jersey calf in November. I've loved almost every minute of it...but I'd really like to try the "normal" life..for at least a little while.

It's been horribly hot here and I'm up to my eyeballs in installing metallic mosaic backsplash. It's a pain in the butt... trying to find something to cut the damn little metal tiles. To wake up and not HAVE to do anything... at this moment sounds like heaven. When the weather breaks and it's not so friggin hot and doing things isn't such a huge ordeal... my mind may change....not about the moving...just the lifestyle.

Hahaha well there are plenty of opportunities not to have to do anything. I thought you would want to recreate your place here and have the heavy lifting done for you. Only other thought is come on down for a good look before you move, and we'll see you then.