GOLF STORY, MIGHT EVEN GET NON GOLFERS TO LAUGH
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GOLF STORY, MIGHT EVEN GET NON GOLFERS TO LAUGH
Be careful of those golf swings
BUTTERCUPS AND GOLF BALLS
Towards the end of the golf course, Tom hit his ball into the woods and found it in a
patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch..
All of a sudden... POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the
rest of your life; better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your
life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF! ... She was gone!
After Tom recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend,
"Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."
Tom shouts back, 'DON'T SWING FRED; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!'
Jim W- Share Holder
- Posts : 5152
Join date : 2010-04-24
Age : 77
Location : Chapala
Humor : Whenever I need it!
Re: GOLF STORY, MIGHT EVEN GET NON GOLFERS TO LAUGH
In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, And Rather Small..
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End;
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And It Goes Far.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.
White And Dimpled, And Rather Small..
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End;
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And It Goes Far.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
Re: GOLF STORY, MIGHT EVEN GET NON GOLFERS TO LAUGH
I did not laugh out loud but I did snicker.
Lady Otter Latté- Share Holder
- Posts : 6760
Join date : 2011-07-26
Location : Chapala
Humor : Biting
Re: GOLF STORY, MIGHT EVEN GET NON GOLFERS TO LAUGH
Three old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.
The pro asked, “Did you guys have a good game today?”
The first old guy said, “I had the most riders ever. I had five.”
The second old guy said, “I had 7 riders, the same as last time.”
The last old man said, “I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today.”
After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, “I’ve been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what’s a rider?”
The pro said, “A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it.”
The pro asked, “Did you guys have a good game today?”
The first old guy said, “I had the most riders ever. I had five.”
The second old guy said, “I had 7 riders, the same as last time.”
The last old man said, “I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today.”
After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, “I’ve been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what’s a rider?”
The pro said, “A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it.”
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
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