Writers corner

It appears we have some budding writers, poets and a few professionals on board (and hopefully an editor or two). So I thought there may be an interest in starting a writers/poets corner. It could be a great place to try out new material, critique, present for enjoyment and/or dodge the occasional cyber tomato.

With that in mind and not wanting to stomp on Axixic's story thread AND creating shameless segue to post a story I wrote, here's the set up:

Never having had children I became completely infatuated with my first grand niece. I met her when she was 4 years old and visiting on a family vacation. I knew I would only see her on the rare occasion but wanted to stay connected. What finally evolved was I would send her bedtime stories. At the time of this story she was 8 and her mom mentioned she was into horses, studying native American cultures and was feeling rather plain Jane-ish and kinda worthless. So what's a doting grand uncle to do?

Kachina

In a land of stunning natural beauty near the Grand Canyon lives a band of native Americans who have never been conquered. They are a noble people, at peace with themselves and their many Kachina Spirits. They are the Hopi; farmers of the land, master weavers, skilled potters and famous among all who know them as The Storytellers.

Their ancestors were the Anasazi, the descendants of the ancient ones who first crossed the Bering Strait over 15,000 years ago. And it was they who were the first humans to ever marvel at what must be a sacred land for once seen even the most skeptical realize, there is a God.

To this day the Hopi tend to their own business, religion, traditions and enjoy most of all a good story. A favored tale is one from a time long ago and it begins with a little girl named Morning Dove and her magnificent horse, Dancing Cloud.

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Morning Dove was a young maiden of eight years and quite average in every way. Then one day she threw a mighty fit and things were never the same.

A very sick and badly injured baby colt had stumbled into her village one morning and fell near and out cropping of boulders. He could not get up and seemed to be dying as a crowd of women and children gathered.

"We will eat him a woman said, he is a gift of meat from the Kachina Spirits!" And several others started to sharpen their cutting stones.

Morning Dove was horrified. She did not think he was dying or a gift of meat to be eaten. She pleaded for the baby's life. She tried to reason,"Just one day!" she cried and when that failed she threw such a fit the women backed away. She seemed possessed by a spirit and they knew they must be careful not to anger a spirit.

"Very well," the women said. "We will wait one day and if he not better tomorrow we will eat him!"

Morning Dove did not leave the colt's side and begged the help of her friends.

"Please bring blankets and water and long grasses for him to eat!" she pleaded.

Then she cared for the baby all day and prayed all night to the Kachina Spirits that he might live, and he did.

Once the young colt had recovered Morning Dove brought him to Smoke Owl, the medicine man, and asked for the traditional blessing and a name. She would always call him Baby but he needed a real name and it must be formally bestowed. The blessing was given as was the name Dancing Cloud.

Smoke Owl had a vision of the legendary Cloud Line Palominos the night before and saw a skinny young colt dancing in their midst. Legend said the Cloud Line Palominos were the fastest of the fast, strongest of the strong, bigger than any other horse and certainly the most beautiful. It was told they lived on the highest of mountains, above the cloud line, and only the Kachina Spirits could ride them.

Smoke Owl had never questioned a vision before as he was a man of great faith, but sometimes he did wonder.

Morning Dove raised Dancing Cloud by herself, she hand fed him, bathed him twice daily and even grew his own feed by selecting only the fattest seeds from the harvest. Some said it was the seeds, others thought a Kachina Spirit had blessed him and the rest just wondered at how quickly he grew.

Two years passed and Dancing Cloud became the envy of everyone in the tribe. He was unlike any other horse in size and power, more beautiful and certainly the smartest. There was no need to corral him and he was so protective of Morning Dove that no one would approach her unsmiling.

It became Morning Dove's dream to ride far and wide, to run with the wind and explore her world but that was impossible. She would never be allowed out of sight of the village as her world was far too dangerous. But then one winters day a brave raced into their village with dire news.

A great buffalo herd had been driven far from their lands by hunters of the Sioux nation and now rested only a days journey into their valley. The buffalo had arrived the day before terrified and completely exhausted after being ambushed on the plains.

There was quite a commotion among the villagers as buffalo had never been seen in their lands. They only knew frightening stories told by travelers and were afraid. They knew something must be done and done quickly as the valley walls were steep and there were only two ways out.

It had been told the buffalo would run if threatened, stampede if frightened, or just walk away if gently prodded. After much counsel and may prayers to the Kachina spirits it was decided the braves would walk the buffalo out of the valley. Their plan was to quietly present themselves before the buffalo at sunrise. There would be no whooping when they formed their charging line, only their clam presence as they hoped to coax the great heard away.

When her father returned from council Morning Dove begged and pleaded with him to hear her voice and let her go.

"What? he said, Allow a child to herd buffalo? Never! The buffalo are unpredictable and you could easily be trampled."

"But father, I will only pack supplies. You and the others will need food and water on your journey. Is not Dancing Cloud the biggest and strongest horse in our village? He can easily carry the load of three pack animals and run as fast as the wind."

Her father heard her wisdom and went to their great chief for a decision and he agreed. Dancing Cloud would carry the supplies of three pack animals and she would ride with the women packers.

They traveled all night and approached the mighty herd before daylight. While the braves quietly formed their charging line Morning Dove and the packers rode their horses up a nearby hill, peered over the top and gasped as the sun's first rays broke through the clouds. There before them and as far as they could see were the resting buffalo.

No one moved or made a sound as the buffalo became aware of their presence. Then there was a rustling in the herd as a huge white buffalo stood and snorted. He looked this way and that, gave two more loud snorts and started walking away.

The braves gave a sigh of relief and looked at each other in amazement. Then their chief whispered down the line, "Take only one step for their every two," and signaled the packers to stay on the hill.

Soon the entire herd was up and moving at their own pace an everyone marveled at how gentle they seemed to be, they were leaving so quietly.

A chill wind blew and it began to sprinkle as all eyes now focused on the darkening clouds. Everyone hoped and prayed the clouds would quietly pass as far in the distance the faint rumbling of thunder could be heard. They watched intently as the buffalo became restless, many began snorting and some were starting to buck.

Then it happened.

At the far end of the valley a lightning bolt struck the ground and sent it's thunder crashing up the valley and the response from the buffalo was immediate as they turned and bolted. The braves scattered and the packers screamed as a mighty river of hides and horns broke loose in complete panic.

Fear shot through Morning Dove as she realized her village would be destroyed. Dancing Cloud reared high as he sensed her fear and she hung on tightly as she wheeled him around towards the village and shouted, "Run Baby, RUN!"

Dancing Cloud's front legs came down and he hesitated for a moment as she felt his muscles flex and his body shutter in anticipation. Then he lowered his head and bolted with such force that she was thrown hard into the packs and then yanked forward by the reins as he brought his head up in full gallop.

Down the hill and into the valley they charged, joining the buffalo in complete panic as they raced up the valley. The mighty hoof beats of the raging buffalo was deafening and the dust was blinding. It looked and sounded like the end of the world.

Try as she might Morning Dove could not loosen the pack straps as she screamed, "Faster Baby faster, we must go faster!" And faster he ran as she grasped at the straps and they raced for the big white buffalo leading the herd.

It had been told a stampede could only be diverted if the leader could be turned and that was her only hope. Before long they were at the head of the pack and trying to turn the charging white buffalo but he was too big and mean to be turned by a little girl on a big horse.

"I must warn our people, Morning Dove thought in desperation, maybe they can run to the boulders and save themselves."

Then she broke straight for the village, hoping and praying the braves could catch the leader and turn him in time. But how could Dancing Cloud run that far that fast she wondered. He was burdened with a mighty load; water skins filled to the brim, sacks of jerky, vegetables, blankets and many other things. Sweat was pouring off him and foam was flying from his mouth as his chest heaved with each stride. The buffalo were not far behind and again she screamed,

"Faster-faster, come on Baby you can do it, we must go faster!"

Dancing Cloud glanced back and seeing the terror in her eyes burst forward with an unknown energy, a force that once again shoved her hard into the packs.

Now the village was getting close and Morning Dove's eyes widened as it appeared above the last rise. She realized they would not make it in time and did something never before seen and not since forgotten. She wrapped the reins tightly around her hands and jumped up, wedging her feet between the packs and started screaming,

"STAMPEDE! STAMPEDE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN FOR THE BOULDERS! STAMPEDE!"

At first the people of the village thought the rumbling was an earthquake or a terrible storm. The ground seemed to be vibrating and the thunder just kept rolling in. Then they heard a faint voice mixed in with the muffled sounds,

"Stampede, Stampede run for your lives, run for the boulders, Stampede!"

And her cry was taken up by the villagers as mothers grabbed children, children grabbed children, young people helped old people and everyone ran for the boulders as fast as they could.

And lucky they were as only moments later the crazed buffalo crashed through the village at a terrifying speed. They smashed into the adobe huts and trampled every other thing. As the last of the buffalo were bolting through the braves arrived and began shouting the names of their mothers and fathers and wives and children.

'"Where are you?" They cried.

The dust was so thick they couldn't even see the boulders and the thunder was still deafening. Confusion and fear swept through them as the dust began to settle. Their village was completely destroyed, surely everyone had perished, and then they heard a baby crying.

"Where is that crying coming from?" a brave shouted. "Over there! Over there in the boulders." another yelled.

Quickly the men ran to the boulders and found their families hiding and they all cried tears of relief and joy. Then they began shouting and clapping with great gladness as they recounted the miracle that they had just seen.

"Did you them run? Morning Dove and Dancing Cloud? Did you see them run!"

Several minutes passed and as the dust finally settled and they saw the devastation done to their village another scream broke the silence.

"No no no! It's Morning Dove and Dancing Cloud! They're lying in the dirt next to the first boulder!"

Everyone ran to where they lay as Smoke Owl shouted,

"Do not touch them! Do not touch them! The Great Kachina spirit is still with them. Do not touch them! We must first form a circle around them and hold hands and pray."

A circle was quickly formed and all hands were held tightly as everyone looked on in wide eyed horror. Morning Dove and Dancing Cloud were not moving and they were not breathing. She had dust covered blood smeared across her face and her little body was horribly battered and Dancing Cloud didn't even look like a horse. The packs were twisted all around him, the dust had turned to mud when it settled on his sweat soaked body and his back leg was broken.

Smoke Owl began to chant quietly as he walked around them then louder as he prayed to the Great Kachina to return their breath. Then he began running around them, three times in each direction chanting as loudly as he could. Then he dropped to his knees, looked to the sun and raised his hands in silent prayer. After a long moment Dancing Cloud snorted then Morning Dove's little finger twitched. Smoke Owl began shouting more orders,

"Men, bring poles and hides and build a tipi around them. Women, go to the stream and bring water. Children, fetch wood and bring cloth. Elders, prepare a fire. Hurry, hurry!"

The packs were quickly cut loose as a tipi was raised and they were gently bathed and rested on many blankets. Morning Dove's little body was badly mangled and if she lived her recovery would take a very long time but what to do about Dancing Cloud? A horse with a broken leg could not walk and must be sent to the spirit world.

Smoke Owl knew he must ask the Kachina Spirits for one more miracle and a miracle it would be for no horse had ever survived a broken leg. He believed in the Great Kachina with all his heart and had spent a lifetime in humble devotion. Smoke Owl then climbed the tallest boulder and sat gazing towards the heavens.

"Mighty Kachina" he whispered, a lowly servant must ask for the impossible. Then he bowed his head in prayer.

He was expected to rejoin his people on the morning of the third day, after the traditional prayer-fast but he did not. He returned on the morning of the seventh day, bent over and shaking from his ordeal and the villagers gathered closely as he spoke.

"Tonight we will build a great fire and each will send a prized possession to the flames. Then we will silently pray until dawn. At first light Morning Dove and Dancing Cloud will walk among us."

The villagers gasped loudly. Smoke Owl spoke of the impossible and there was much doubt. No one spoke but you could see it clearly written on their faces. Had he been too long without sleep or food or water? Three days was a long time to fast, meditate and pray, but seven? It had never been done before.
Their Chief tuned to them and said,

"I see the look on your faces and I want it stopped now. A young hero and a mighty horse lay before you! Smoke Owl has spoken with the Great Kachina. Gather wood!"

The night sky blazed and it was like day as each put a special thing to the fire, favored keepsakes, the chief's own headdress and many treasured things. Then they prayed to the Kachina Spirits until dawn.
As the night sky became light all quietly gazed at the tipi and a rustle was heard from within. Then out hobbled Dancing Cloud and Morning Dove and they walked among their people.

At a special ceremony on the night of the next full moon Morning Dove would receive an eagle's feather for her courage, Dancing Cloud was gifted three feathers from the wing of a falcon and Smoke Owl would be awarded the most sacred of owl feathers. From that day forward Morning Dove would hold the rank of Brave and attend council, Smoke Owl would forever be legend and Dancing Cloud would eat only long grasses and sire many foals.

Life would never be the same for Morning Dove now that she was a brave. Her status among the people immediately from 'little girl child, not to be bothered with' to "Great Hero, Worthy Of Much Respect."

At first she was honored by the award but soon she became frustrated. Her friends did not how to act around her, she was not allowed to do men's work and tradition would not allow a brave to do women's work. Thereafter her days would be spent either riding Dancing Cloud or practicing with her bow and arrows.
Morning Dove enjoyed practicing with her bow and arrows and wanted to be the fastest in her village. What she liked to do was see how many arrows she could keep in the air at one time. By the time she was 11 she was faster than her older brothers and at 12 she was even faster than her father and won a tribal contest.

Time passed quietly until the first day of her 13th year. That night would be her coming of age ceremony where she would be presented to the many Kachina Spirits and be a woman.

Morning Dove walked up the valley to a nearby stream and bathed in a deep clear pool as was tradition. She was excited for today she would learn the secrets of women and that night she would be on herself. After her bath she hurried back to the village to pray to her Kachina Spirit doll and ready herself for the ceremony.

Morning Dove had been presented her Kachina doll by Smoke Owl when she was very young. He had carved it from a cottonwood root, painted it many colors and blessed it as his vision had told him. Her Kachina hung on the wall next to her bed and she prayed every morning when she awoke. She gave thanks for life and prayed for the wisdom and prosperity of her people. She smiled as she remembered the legend of her Kachina. It was that of a handsome young brave who, through a great act of courage, even became a Kachina himself. Only once in their tribe's long history had this happened and he was her favorite.

As Morning Dove entered the open passageway of her adobe she saw something new. Sparkling even in the dim light was a most beautiful dress. Her grandmother was holding it up for her to see while her mother clapped and jumped in delight. Morning Dove could not believe her eyes. She had never seen anything so beautiful. It was a golden deerskin dress decorated with many pieces of polished abalone shell. The colorful shells cascaded down from the neck and widened around the middle as a belt, then sprinkled down like rain.

They were eager to see how she looked in the dress. Morning Dove ever so carefully lifted it over he head and slid it down over her body and it fit perfectly. She admired the dress, danced, clapped and gave many hugs and kisses in return. How beautiful she looked and how happy she was. Her mother had tears in her eyes and her grandmother had them streaming down her cheeks.

"Where did you find such a dress?" Morning Dove asked excitedly.

Her mother said, "We made it in secret while you were out with Dancing Cloud or practicing with your bow and arrows. But enough about the dress for now, we must begin preparing your hair."

The fixing of her hair would take hours as only on this day and only at this time was a girl child given the knowledge of women. For this special hairstyle a whorl stick is used. It is a long stick, shaped like a crooked bow. When both sides were complete they would tie them up together and at the evening's ceremony all would see and all would know that Morning Dove was a woman.

Morning Dove had beautiful thick black hair that flowed past her waist. Her mother and grandmother artfully worked the whorl stick, weaving her hair in and out and over and under. Her maiden's whorl had been perfectly formed on one side and not a single hair strayed below her ear.

While her mother and grandmother carefully worked on her hair the other women of the tribe visited. It was custom for each to compliment, to welcome this new woman to the tribe and share their secrets. Each one brought a new secret and each tried to outdo the others. There was much laughing for this was a happy occasion and Morning Dove blushed many times at the secrets they shared.

Only the elders, women and children were in the village as the men were in the fields planting their crops of corn, beans and squash. The Rain Kachina was happy and had blessed them with many spring showers. Now it was time to plant their seeds and they were very busy.

As mother started to remove the whorl stick from Morning Dove's hair they heard a thump on the roof and looked up to see it was on fire. Then yelling and screaming broke out in the village and they rushed outside to see many painted savages attacking from every direction.

Their blood turned cold and they screamed loudly as these warriors were feared more than any others. They lived by raiding and killing alone. They would take women and children for slaves if they wanted or they would kill them. Another flaming arrow hit their roof and then two other adobes were hit and started to burn. Across the village Morning Dove saw a woman get struck by an arrow and a child trampled by a charging stallion. Then she saw another arrow coming in and this one struck her magnificent horse high on the back. Dancing Cloud flinched violently and screamed a loud horse scream. There was nowhere to run, they were surrounded and about to die.

At first Morning Dove was terrified, then she got mad, mad at what these savages were doing. If she would die she thought, she would die fighting.'

Morning Dove rushed back into her burning adobe and grabbed her bow and arrows. Then she ran from the doorway shooting and shouting to her mother and grandmother to bring her more arrows, and they did. They brought her many quivers full of arrows and she let them fly as fast as she could.

As the savages were everywhere Morning Dove started turning and shooting. Faster and faster she turned and faster and faster she fired; 8, 10, 12, 15 arrows were now in the air and flying in every direction. As she spun the sunlight glittered off the polished shells and into the savage's eyes. What they saw was a spinning and sparkling something, something very dangerous. "What is it? they cried.

"It's an evil spirit" their chief yelled. Look at how it glitters and glows and look how the arrows spew forth!"

He then signaled and the savages retreated to the edge of the village and formed their charging line.

There was nowhere to run Morning Dove realized as she quickly grabbed seven quivers full of arrows and slung them onto her back. Then she turned and stood defiantly staring at the attackers.

The savages did not speak. They were mystified and not sure at what they were seeing. There in the middle of the village was what seemed to be a young maiden but it couldn't be, she was so very different. Her hair was piled high on one side in what must be devil knots and the other side was streaming wildly in the wind. The evil spirit wore clothing that sparkled many colors and let fly more arrows that 10 braves.

"It's a she-devil the chief shouted and it must die now!" He knew it would follow them forever, as devils do. There may never be another chance to catch it in the open or in the light of day.

Morning Dove's mother and grandmother rushed to her side an she told them to run. "No they protested, we will die together." Morning Dove turned and gave them a look that frightened them. Her teeth were clenched and her lips were trembling. Her eyes pierced them as she gave them a look they had never seen before and she commanded again, "Run!" And run they did as she turned back to face the savages.

Their charge began with much whooping and yelling as she stood her ground. Then when they came within range she let fly the most horrific barrage of arrows ever seen. Some went high and some went low but many others found their mark. But it was impossible to stop them all and they were only seconds from crushing her.

"This is it," Morning Dove thought just as something big flashed past her.

It was Dancing Cloud and he smashed into the charging horses just as they were about to trample her. Then he started bucking and kicking furiously as she fired her arrows faster than ever.

The villagers cowered and screamed as they watched a little girl and a big mean blood streaked palomino fight for their lives.

But now they had her, she was surrounded and the warrior chief moved in for the kill. He swung his club and knocked her to the ground with a wicked blow to the side of her face and started to dismount to take her scalp. Yet Dancing Cloud wasn't finished. He came crashing through in another fearsome charge with more bucking and kicking as Morning Dove wobbled back to her feet and let the arrows of her last quiver fly.

New screams were then heard as racing in from the fields came her father and brothers and the other braves in full charge. This was too much for the savages and they broke and ran.

Morning Dove could barely stand. Her face was bleeding, her dress was bloody and ripped and her fingers had many cuts and blisters from shooting so many arrows so fast. She had a deep V shaped gash high on her left cheek and a dark purple bruise was forming around her swollen eye. And the warrior chief, the leader of those who kill women and children was lying at her feet as she stood in the middle of the village holding her bow and last arrow.

The villagers quickly gathered around her. Their eyes and mouths were open wide in disbelief and wonder yet no one spoke as their chief dismounted and ran to where she stood. He stopped in front of her, stared deep into her eyes and looked her up and down. Then he slowly walked around her, looked at her hair and turned his head this way and that as he carefully examined her and the surrounding destruction and thought, could this young maiden alone possibly have saved every elder, woman and child in the tribe, twice?

Their great Chief stepped back, turned to his people, slowly raised his arms and shouted, "KACHINA!"

The villagers bowed their heads to honor a child, a woman, and now a living spirit, Morning Dove - Kachina.

Great story, and I'll bet the young listener had her eyes wide open and was holding her breath till the last!

Definitely interested here! Even in-person-over-coffee/whatever meetings would be fun too.

Yes, I have a very good editor who lives in Joco should you need one let me know. . .and a cover artist who lives in So. Africa, and a formatter who lives in DF. :) It's a whole new world for writers. thankgod

Looking forward to reading your stories this evening, RB, I like the way you write!

Excelllent story, Bob. I don't usually comment on the work of others (lest I invite wrath upon my own) but I really enjoyed that.

If you want to pull my previous offering off the other thread and put it in this one - I'd be fine with that. Whatever you want.

Wow,what a fine uncle you are and you can write too,Bravo!

Excellent.. more...

Great stuff R.B. Keep 'em coming.

BTW for budding writers, who can format for Kindle or other e-books? I'm kinda interested in that myself. The market is huge and growing. No hassles with rejection slips or publishers who rip you off.

Might I recommend if folks will be posting stories that they be linked to rather than just posted, and thus available for download as PDF (or whatever) format? Easier to read than on a computer screen, and means we can take it to bed or the easy chair.

I design and publish books for authors in the area, help with printing, and convert to eBook format, too. I've done about 15 or so in the last few years, including Jim Collums last books. Look for my PUBLISH ad in the Reporter's classifieds.

Thanks amigos and amigas, your praise, thoughts and ideas are much appreciated. The Kachina story was the first of 13 chapters and is the only surviving one, the rest are lost in cyberspace. The stories were never submitted for publication and I haven't a clue as to what today's publishing market is all about.

It looks like there is enough interest in a Writers Corner so I will petition Fearless Leader to open a dedicated thread and we can take it from there.

Having never hosted a writers forum I am wide open to having some one with experience taking the lead on this little projecto, please! So until that saint steps forward I guess Axixic and I and any other writers can post away and let's see what happens.

The linking sounds like a good idea HelperGuy and with your expertise you can have your own corner of the corner.

HelperGuy - the only problem with your suggestion is that it requires that the stories be published elsewhere on the 'net; many won't be.

Might I suggest that a simple copy'n'paste into notebook or whatever would work just as well?

Yes, copy/paste would work. You're right, making a link would be a PITA for most.

Took a look and discovered that a series of articles I wrote on the history of Mexico is still available online. Here's the link to the first part and links to the rest are at the end of this article.

http://ajijicnews.com/pages/historyofmexico

Dang Smartalex, WTG! Award winning sports writer to boot eh? I've read your articles and appreciate them now more than ever. Sweet

Smartalex wrote:Took a look and discovered that a series of articles I wrote on the history of Mexico is still available online. Here's the link to the first part and links to the rest are at the end of this article.

http://ajijicnews.com/pages/historyofmexico

Great articles. Thanks....really interesting!!!!!

MDH is a retired tech writer and is very good at copy editing and editing non-fiction.

RB - LOVED the Kachina story. What a gift that was.

Truly a wonderful story, RB. Me thinks you have another career in stories for Young Adult, which btw, is a booming genre.

These are the people I depend on:
Edtior: Barb Hopkins barbarahopkins20@yahoo.com
Cover Artist: Bronson Dunbar http://www.bronsondunbar.com
Formatter: Mario Carrasco Teja mariocarrascoteja@gmail.com

I have Mario format for Smashwords, because it is a beach!, then change a few things and can use the same formatting for Kindle. All these peeps are easy to work with and good at what they do and are very reasonable.