Crime Reports are Really Causing Me Grief

Hello. First time poster. I like this forum. You all seem to tell it like it is for the most part.

I retired this month and I plan on driving down from the North East to visit Lakeside for a few weeks. Naturally, my wife (who is still working) and family insist to a man that I will be cut to ribbons and never heard from again as soon as I cross the border at Laredo.

I don't think that will happen. Nevertheless, I have to deal with them all. I was thinking of maybe installing internet filters on their computers that would block sites that have "Mexico" and "crime" on a page, or change the word "crime" to "no crime". My Google search turns up no products that fit the bill.

But I have to admit that there is indeed an increase in crime in the area. I have spent some months going through sites and reading old posts and people do genuinely feel it has become less safe.

Anyway, I am determined to do this. It just would be easier if they would capture all the Mexico gangbangers and print that in my local paper.

NoCanDo

I did go through some boxes and found my old dog tags. I put them on and told my wife I would wear them at all times so the authorities could identify the body. She wasn't amused.

I understand your concern. I have lived here 14 years and plan to stay. They pretty much seem to be killing each other or those involved in drugs in some way. There are just certain restaurants I avoid where guns may go off. But us NOB types are very social types and you will have a great time here.

Loved that line about the dog tags! So, your wife is not amused and is afraid to cross the border...are you coming down to check out the area for retirement?
Ya'll plan on retiring without your wife?
You've both got to be in the same adventurous frame of mind or you'll never make the leap. Your attitude is great.
We're not leaving either...and we don't own or have a place to sell or rent...we're renters now after 16 years owning in Mexico.
Let us know when "nocando" changes to "yeswecan".

I'm with Ferret. You and your wife need to be on the same page if you're moving here.

It's perfectly understandable if people are freaking out and afraid to head south after all the news reports we've been having.

Good advice to go during daylight hours, tuck in to a nice motel for the night, (No-tell motels are good, since your car and you are all locked up behind doors. Just take whatever you need in on the first check in since there are no in and out privileges). Stay on the cuotas (toll roads) , pay the tolls and be happy to. It's worth it.

The words "you'll have a maid and "we'll eat out most of the time" are very persuasive to wives. Try that line.......after you get home safely from your trip.
Good luck.

Gringal's advice is good... and I heartilyagree that you should both want to go... or at least your good lady should be willing to give it a try.Lizzy

gringal wrote:
The words "you'll have a maid and "we'll eat out most of the time" are very persuasive to wives.

That depends on the wife. Me, I preferred cleaning my own house and preparing most of my own meals.

But NoCanDo, your wife should at least come down for a visit before she makes up her mind. She won't know if she hates the place or loves it until she has had a chance to check it out herself. And it's absolutely true that there are a lot of wonderful, interesting and hospitable ex-pats here who will make you both feel very welcome.

If it's any comfort to her, the fatality rate for first-time visitors who came down to check the place out is 0%.

[quote="gringal"]I'm with Ferret. You and your wife need to be on the same page if you're moving here.

It's perfectly understandable if people are freaking out and afraid to head south after all the news reports we've been having.

Good advice to go during daylight hours, tuck in to a nice motel for the night, (No-tell motels are good, since your car and you are all locked up behind doors. Just take whatever you need in on the first check in since there are no in and out privileges). Stay on the cuotas (toll roads) , pay the tolls and be happy to. It's worth it.

The words "you'll have a maid and "we'll eat out most of the time" are very persuasive to wives. Try that line.......after you get home safely from your trip.
Good luck.
[/quote]

No "...in and out privileges...." at a no-tell motel, gringal? Cute.

Reminds me of Staney Kubrick´s A Clockwork Orange (1971) strarring Malcolm McDowell who, in that movie which was ahead of its time, kept referring to the "old in and out". There are many nice motels and, in San Luis Potosí, even some very nice old colonial establishments in the historic center in which to spend the night on the route you plan and with in and out privileges, secure parking and good restaurants nearby within walking distance. No need to be confined in a sleazy sex-oriented dive unless, like Hugh Grant, that is what you are seeking.

LOL. The no tells that we've been in are anything but sleazy. Marble tiled HUGE bathroom, beautiful decor and comfortable. The mirrors on the ceiling are a dead giveawaiy though.

[quote="ferret"]LOL. The no tells that we've been in are anything but sleazy. Marble tiled HUGE bathroom, beautiful decor and comfortable. The mirrors on the ceiling are a dead giveawaiy though.[/quote]

So, if they have a beer and wine dispensing machine in the room, perhaps the lack of in and out privileges is acceptable. Ithink I´ve been in that place. Vegas, right?

NoCanDo why don't you encourage your wife to join up here and let us answer her questions and allay her fears.
I drove here from Vancouver when I moved, female and alone. It was fine. Heed the advice about crossing during the early morning, do your homework, stay on the toll roads and find a motel before dark and you will be fine.

I think all of us expats have heard the concerns from family and friends. Life here is good and while the recent events have a lot of people unnerved I don't know anyone personally who is leaving or not going out. I keep hearing about how the town is a ghost town at night but that has not been my experience.

Let us meet her and make her relax a bit about her perceptions.

Heck, there are certain restaurants here in Vancouver I avoid 'cause guns could go off. One gangbanger was killed in the resto of one of the most upscale hotels in town recently. (Wall Centre). If only these people would carry donor cards.

Thanks for all the replies. I appreciate the info.

The reason I am going down by myself is because I am the one retired. My wife is younger and won't retire for another year or so.

Knowing her the way I do, I know that it would be a whole lot easier for me to see the area, meet and speak with other expats and arrive home safely than to just go there with her for the first time. She would be very, very nervous if I didn't know the area somewhat to guide her around. She would be kind of scared, do you know what I mean?

I thought that if I met some other married folks she could talk to other girls when she arrived. She might come to realize that it is indeed possible to order a vodka tonic with complete safety as well as comfortably shop in stores. I want to have everything lined up before she arrives.

I totally disagree with your direction.

1. I don't think this is a good time for ANYONE to be moving here. Wait a little and see what happens.

2. Sounds a little controlling to me. So, you get here, love it, go back and convince her and then you guys move here. What then? Hide the newspapers? Restrict her from using the computer web boards? Keep her from having any friends who might tell her?

The last thing you want to happen is to move here lock stock and barrel and THEN find she hates it, it's dangerous, she wants to go back. Your decision should be made as PARTNERS.

ferret wrote:We're not leaving either...and we don't own or have a place to sell or rent...we're renters now after 16 years owning in Mexico.

Now that is interesting, ferret. Most of what I read is folks moving there and renting and then buying, not the other way around. If I can ask, what were the reasons for your decision?

Myself, as near as I can tell, I don't see much advantage cost-wise for buying relative to renting.

Trailrunner wrote:I totally disagree with your direction.

1. I don't think this is a good time for ANYONE to be moving here. Wait a little and see what happens.

2. Sounds a little controlling to me. So, you get here, love it, go back and convince her and then you guys move here. What then? Hide the newspapers? Restrict her from using the computer web boards? Keep her from having any friends who might tell her?

The last thing you want to happen is to move here lock stock and barrel and THEN find she hates it, it's dangerous, she wants to go back. Your decision should be made as PARTNERS.

Are you married?

1. I never said I was going to move there. I said I am coming down to Lakeside to see it for myself.
2. It sounded to me when I wrote it as a husband who loves and understands his wife and doesn't want to cause her unnecessary discomfort.
3. I never said I as going to move there "lock, stock and barrel". As a matter of fact I was thinking of being a snowbird.
4. I never said the decision was going to be unilateral. I'm married and I enjoy a happy home life very much.

No, NoCanDo, not anymore. My choice, my decision, much better for me.

My husband enjoyed a happy home life very much too.

Enjoy your visit.

NoCanDo, I am married and you sound very controlling to me. Is your wife so insecure that she has to be protected and follow you on everything? If so, no wonder you have a happy home life. I hope it is just as happy for her. To each his/her own.

WOW! Just how can people presume to understand another person's private relationship based upon a very few minimally descriptive sentences?

Clairvoyance?

AH! A skill possibly learned at a support group?

Welcome to the squabbling Nocando. A lot of presumptions going on here and I'm not going to be judgemental.
FYI, we did the normal rent for a year and then bought a house in San Miguel de Allende...lived happily there for nine years. Sold that house and bought a lot on the beach in San Pancho and built our dream home and lived happily there for six years and sold it.
NOW, my hubby is 71 years old and doesn't have the best of health. We opted to stay in Mexico but will rent because it gives us more options. We are Canadians and, if extreme ill health forces us back to the frigid north, then we can do so easily. Sometimes you just need the moral support of family when the sh*t hits the fan and closer is better. BBRRRRR! Like when hell freezes over we'll leave.

ferret wrote:Welcome to the squabbling Nocando. A lot of presumptions going on here and I'm not going to be judgemental.

We are Canadians and, if extreme ill health forces us back to the frigid north, then we can do so easily. Sometimes you just need the moral support of family when the sh*t hits the fan and closer is better. BBRRRRR! Like when hell freezes over we'll leave.

Yes, rather odd, those presumptions, since no one who knows her would say she is too shy to let you know if something is pissing her off. Not just once, but over and over and...

I do want to see more of Mexico and just think Lakeside is a good place to start.

Canada? My next trip is a drive up to Newfounland and Labrador!

After a while on this board, in fact already.......based on the above, you will find that the popular sport is "jumping to conclusions". Usually based on little information.

Over 8 years ago, I didn't want to move to Mexico. I liked it right where I was: with an active professional life, many friends and some family nearby.
I had to be cajoled, assaulted with pure logic and even bribed by my husband. Finally, we made a deal. We'd go for a year and if I didn't want to stay, we'd head back. Fair enough, so I agreed.

In time, I became actively engaged in local activities, made new friends and am happy here.

I would suggest that you don't sing the praises of moving here right at this moment in time. It's not Mexico's finest hour. Very sad, but true.

gringal wrote:I would suggest that you don't sing the praises of moving here right at this moment in time. It's not Mexico's finest hour. Very sad, but true.

Thanks, gringal. I would never do that to me or to her. I am coming to see for myself first. Period.

After that? We shall see.