Be Honest w/yourself... Don't let your ego kill you or someone else

Espiritu, with the numbers of aging and diminished-capacity seniors around here, this is especially important for us all to consider. We have to come up with a plan to protect ourselves while we can think clearly about it. (Obviously, for some of us it is already too late.) Thanks for taking the time to share this.

Espiritu, toughest think for me to deal with was taking the keys away..and selling the car..tell tale signs front and rear scrapes on vehicle......there are many at Lakeside that shouldn't be driving, as well.

One of the most dangerous places in the area is the parking lot at Super Lake.

I gave up driving at the age of 79. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was obvious to me that I was becoming a danger to myself and to others -- poor vision, slow reaction times, easily distracted, etc. It was like the final surrender to old age. I hated it.

I'm am lucky to have four friends who are willing to tote me around when I need to go out.

Try combining the old age issues with a family member who was abusing alcohol! Naturally he considered himself the "world's best driver" but at 10am in the morning after nipping on the vodka bottle (unknown to me), he took an exit off the freeway where none existed. Thanks goodness there wasn't a fence or arroyo and the car stopped in the sand. I pulled the keys and screamed: "never again"! When we got home, I told my mother she was never to get in a car with him driving and I bailed out on any further contact.

My mother is 83 and doesn't drive on the freeways anymore. She does have a car that is only four inches smaller than single garage. She says if she hits the mirrors she will stop driving. Some people are just sensible about such things. I know I am lucky. Actually she drives better around Bellevue faster and safer than I could.

Z

CheenaGringo wrote:Try combining the old age issues with a family member who was abusing alcohol!  Naturally he considered himself the "world's best driver" but at 10am in the morning after nipping on the vodka bottle (unknown to me), he took an exit off the freeway where none existed.  Thanks goodness there wasn't a fence or arroyo and the car stopped in the sand.  I pulled the keys and screamed: "never again"!  When we got home, I told my mother she was never to get in a car with him driving and I bailed out on any further contact.  

Harsh. That left her alone to deal with it.

Harsh? Probably but no more than your "judgement" without knowing all the details. It was a mutual decision by my mother and myself since we recognized that my presence was exacerbating the problem. As it turned out, he managed to straighten himself out on his own after realizing he was no longer the big shot in retirement.

I base my response on what was posted.

My Mom had a minor accident at about 85 and I asked the nice young policeman to make her take the driving test.

She went to driving school and took a special class for seniors given by AAA. I learned that she had NEVER taken a driving test or the written test. She got her license in rural Iowa in the 1920s, moved to Colorado and just kept renewing it. There were lots of things she was surprised to learn - like what the little mirrors on the side of the car were for.

She drove 2 more years and then had a small stroke. Her doctor and I agreed she shouldn't drive any more so I removed the spark plug wires and put a note inside the engine. She called the mechanic to fix the car and - God bless him - he refused.

When her driver's license came up for renewal, she had to take the written test again. (good Colorado law) I got her the new book but by then she'd had several more little strokes and couldn't read it any more, and understood she couldn't drive without a license. After many more strokes, right before she died, she said, "Now if I can pass that test, I can get my license back and drive." And I said, "Yes Mom, you sure can."

You're a good daughter. No sense in making her feel diminished if you don't have to. My Mom moved in with us and voluntarily stopped driving. She didn't trust herself so I took her wherever she needed to go. Its funny, she's been gone for ten years and I still catch myself taking pictures of a weird bug or new born foal, beautiful flower whatever... and suddenly realizing I can't run to the house and share it with her.