HITTIN CLOSE TO HOME.....LMAO

Someone asked me what I do since I have retired.... Do I have a job?

I replied, “I am my wife's sexual advisor."

Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?"

"Very simple. My wife told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it.”

ROTFLMAO!!!

Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing

on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food.

Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot

a rescue boat coming...

One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW, I just can't believe

my eyes.

There is a woman out there floating in our direction."

The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "You're hallucinating, you've

finally lost your mind."

But within a few minutes, up on the beach floated a stunningly beautiful woman, face

up, totally naked, unconscious, without even so much as a ring or earrings on her person.

The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered,

yes, she was alive, warm and breathing. One said to the other, "You know, we've been

on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been such a long,

long time... So... Do you think we should... well... You know... Screw her?"



"Out of WHAT?!?" asked the other lawyer