Log in
Weather
Exchange RatesScottish Compassion
3 posters
Page 1 of 1
Scottish Compassion
by DaveP Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:23 pm
SCOTTISH COMPASSION
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The Scottish woman came to him and said, "'ave ya ever been fucked, laddie?" The man broke into a big smile and said, "No". She said, "Aye, well yae will be when the tide comes in."
DaveP- Share Holder
- Posts : 773
Join date : 2010-04-05
Location : San Antonio Tlayacapan
Humor : A little English
Lady Otter Latté- Share Holder
- Posts : 6760
Join date : 2011-07-26
Location : Chapala
Humor : Biting
Re: Scottish Compassion
by hockables Sat Aug 03, 2013 9:45 am
A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased
husband is published.
The "obit" editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 pence per word.
She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well, then, let it read,'Angus MacPherson died'."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for
all obituaries.
She thinks it over and in a few seconds says,
"In that case, let it read....... 'Angus MacPherson died. Golf clubs for sale'."
husband is published.
The "obit" editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 pence per word.
She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well, then, let it read,'Angus MacPherson died'."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for
all obituaries.
She thinks it over and in a few seconds says,
"In that case, let it read....... 'Angus MacPherson died. Golf clubs for sale'."
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
Re: Scottish Compassion
by hockables Thu Aug 08, 2013 10:45 pm
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has
made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has
made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum