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Moving to Ajijic with a Very Outgoing Teen

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Big Daddy Mexico
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Post by Canuck Mon May 14, 2012 11:00 pm

Greetings all.

I have been reading this board for a couple of weeks and now is the time that I need to really ask for some advice and guidance.

I also posted this on TOB and received some very helpful replies. It is a good thing I was online at the time as at least one reply disappeared quite rapidly.

We are planning to move to Ajijic this August. Have visited twice, the last time for a month last August and like many of you fell totally in love with the area.

However, with many recent events trepidation is starting.

I am not that concerned for myself or my husband, but my 13 y/o son is a social butterfly who makes friends quickly and with anyone.

Last summer he would disappear for hours, skateboarding with the local mexican kids and he made many friends. Language was not an issue as skaters have their own language.

I would like to hear from those who have teens living in the area. Your honest thoughts and opinions would be helpful and very appreciated.


Thank you in advance.
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Post by CanuckBob Tue May 15, 2012 6:24 am

1 month ago I would have given a different answer however with the events of the past few weeks, particularly the random abductions and murders of young Mexican men, I would be hesitant to bring a child of that age to live in this area right now. Hopefully things will return to normal soon. Just stay tuned and make the best decision when the time comes. If you stick with a rental you can always move on if you get uncomfortable.
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Post by Grizzy Tue May 15, 2012 7:39 am

Canuck I do not have teens so I can't speak from that perspective.
About a month before I was scheduled to move to Ajijic I had a huge attack of doubt and fear and every news report seemed to be about the violence in Mx, which had not really scared me prior to that point. And the events of the last month or so have certainly shaken people up here.

If your son is eager to move here and has friends already, I think they will probably share with him their concerns firsthand. I know several young Mexican men in their early to mid 20's who are quite nervous right now and taking extra care.

I personally still feel safe here. But again I can't speak as a parent. CanuckBob has good advice about renting and perhaps have a plan B ready in case. You are facing a hard decision and I don't envy you. Good luck!
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Post by itsme Tue May 15, 2012 7:59 am

I certainly would not bring a teen age boy into this atmosphere. When you have physopaths picking up young males at random and torturing and mutilating them before they kill them and dump the headless bodies on the street you know it is not the place for a 13 yr old. At that age they are full of bravado and think nothing will ever happen to them. This is not the movies. If it has happened to the Mexican males who have lived their lives on the streets, it will be quite easy to pick up a little boy. Why would you place your family in danger? People with young males are either sending them away or packing the entire family up and leaving their homes and businesses. Those losses are considered less than the loss of a son.

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Post by espíritu del lago Tue May 15, 2012 8:07 am

I agree too. Or and if there will be some changes.

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Post by CheenaGringo Tue May 15, 2012 10:32 am

As one who relocated numerous times in various foreign countries during my youth, meeting, choosing and adopting a new group of friends is a matter that requires caution and due diligence. You state: "son is a social butterfly who makes friends quickly and with anyone" and that would scare the heck out of me. Speed and ease of making friends makes for what one would positively call an "outgoing child" but can also be a formula for trouble. The easiest crowd to make friends with is the one comprised of "losers" because they will accept anyone. The crowd that a parent might want or wish their child be associated with often tend to be more discriminating and reserved. One has to work at it and earn their acceptance.

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Post by silas Tue May 15, 2012 10:37 am

Keep in mind this is not the same place you fell in love with last August. A lot of changes since then. . . .and none good!

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Post by gringal Tue May 15, 2012 11:40 am

My dos centavos as a mom:
I have a grown son, and long ago would have thought that bringing him here would be cultural enrichment. Right now, It would be putting him at risk. If yours is an outgoing type, he won't be happy being confined to quarters. Kids all believe they are immortal. My first doubt came when a friend of mine was laid out in a coffin after a terrible accident, riding on the back of her boyfriends bike, but even that didn't slow me down from risk-taking. Bad things happen to OTHER people.

I'd wait until things change (if they do) before bringing your son here. You would never forgive yourself if there was a bad outcome.

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Post by little italy Tue May 15, 2012 6:20 pm

Canuck wrote:Greetings all.

I have been reading this board for a couple of weeks and now is the time that I need to really ask for some advice and guidance.

I also posted this on TOB and received some very helpful replies. It is a good thing I was online at the time as at least one reply disappeared quite rapidly.

We are planning to move to Ajijic this August. Have visited twice, the last time for a month last August and like many of you fell totally in love with the area.

However, with many recent events trepidation is starting.

I am not that concerned for myself or my husband, but my 13 y/o son is a social butterfly who makes friends quickly and with anyone.

This is a trick question right? If you have been reading the board for a couple of weeks now, why would you even bother to ask for advise and guidance with the situation going on? I'll tell you what, make like a parent and follow your instincts. Obviously you stated that you are planning to move to Ajijic this August so why are you just now asking for advise?? Did all three of you fall totaly in love with it? since you have visited twice, did your son visit as well?
Last summer he would disappear for hours, skateboarding with the local mexican kids and he made many friends. Language was not an issue as skaters have their own language.

I would like to hear from those who have teens living in the area. Your honest thoughts and opinions would be helpful and very appreciated.


Thank you in advance.

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Post by Canuck Tue May 15, 2012 6:34 pm

little italy

"I would like to hear from those who have teens living in the area."

I am looking for helpful information which I have received privately from a number of helpful people.

Replies like yours make me sorry I even asked.
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Post by kipissippi Tue May 15, 2012 6:45 pm

It was not the most polite answer granted...but I think the people telling you to think long and hard have your...and more importantly his... best interests at heart.

It kind of sounds like you've already made up your mind and just want someone to back you up?
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Post by Canuck Tue May 15, 2012 6:50 pm

I am simply looking to hear from those who are living with teenagers there and how they are dealing with the changed atmosphere. When someone wants to reply without even reading my question. Asking me if my son visited when it states that in my post I can't be bothered. Really thought the sniping and snottiness was confined to TOB. Guess I was wrong. Won't dare ask any questions again. Might upset someone.
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Post by oncesubtle Tue May 15, 2012 7:35 pm

Ask away Canuck and don't worry about upsetting anyone but do know snottiness is ingrained in some folks and apparently they can't help themselves.
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Post by hockables Tue May 15, 2012 7:43 pm

oncesubtle wrote: Ask away Canuck and don't worry about upsetting anyone but do know snottiness is ingrained in some folks and apparently they can't help themselves.


Pffftt.... yeah right, listen to the skeleton with the flowers grow'n outta his head....

Stories around are about guns, grenades, murders and abductions....targeting druggies, businesses, and innocent young people..?

Sorry.... What was the question again? Moving to Ajijic with a Very Outgoing Teen 339824


I had my 20 year old daughter here for a few weeks.... when she was out & about on her own... I worried a bit....( OK... a lot )

that was long before this latest violence began!!


Last edited by hockables on Tue May 15, 2012 7:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by CanuckBob Tue May 15, 2012 7:47 pm

You won't get the candy coated version around here Canuck but don't get discouraged. When you ask for opinions you will get a lot of varied responses. Keep on digging into things.
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Post by kipissippi Tue May 15, 2012 9:20 pm

Canuck...don't be upset with us...I think we're all just frightened for your child.
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Post by Canuck Tue May 15, 2012 9:36 pm

Canuckbob & kipissippi,

I appreciate honest and forthright feedback. That after all is what I am looking for. I did get a couple of emails from people when I first posted on TOB that were quite clear as to why I should not move down and it had nothing to do with my son. 1 bible quote and another "your kind aren't welcome here". Makes me wonder how many people (and I believe it is most) are trying to be helpful and how many are just...
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Post by kipissippi Tue May 15, 2012 9:52 pm

Probably why they PM'ed...we would have nailed them. Grrrrr...... There's always going to be creeps hiding under rocks ready to attack...of course you'll notice that they didn't attack in public.
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Post by CanuckBob Tue May 15, 2012 10:05 pm

Canuck wrote:Canuckbob & kipissippi,

I appreciate honest and forthright feedback. That after all is what I am looking for. I did get a couple of emails from people when I first posted on TOB that were quite clear as to why I should not move down and it had nothing to do with my son. 1 bible quote and another "your kind aren't welcome here". Makes me wonder how many people (and I believe it is most) are trying to be helpful and how many are just...

That's the kind of crap that has never been tolerated here. Sorry to hear that. If anything like that came from this board I would want to hear about it via a PM.
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Post by kipissippi Tue May 15, 2012 10:10 pm

Get 'em Bobby.
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Post by CheenaGringo Tue May 15, 2012 10:24 pm

I would submit that receiving this type of messages in PM's sets one free to break the cardinal rule about not posting a PM on the public forum. People who hide behind the PM window to make threatening, racist or otherwise unacceptable messaging deserve to be "outed" and "punted"!

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Post by kipissippi Wed May 16, 2012 1:53 am

I think Bob can handle it.
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Post by little italy Wed May 16, 2012 6:46 am

Canuck wrote:little italy

"I would like to hear from those who have teens living in the area."

I am looking for helpful information which I have received privately from a number of helpful people.

Replies like yours make me sorry I even asked.

I am terribly sorry for being so insensitive to your question. I am not a parent and really had no right to comment regarding your situation. I am very upset for the Mexican parents who have Children here and fear for their safety. American or Canadian Children are not targets.
Please don’t stop asking for advice here on the board because of my carelessness.

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Post by Canuck Wed May 16, 2012 10:01 am

little italy,

Thank you. Your apology shows class that is often missing on forums. I appreciate this. My son may not be a target but those he enjoys spending time with could be. Collateral damage is equally worrying.
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Post by exajijicresident Wed May 16, 2012 10:21 am

We moved to Ajijic when our daughter was 10 and it was the best thing that happened to her. That being said, it was also in 2001 when Ajijic was indeed "Paradise". Unfortunately, it is now "Terror in Paradise". My family was one of the first that was terrorized by the cartels or at least the local druggies in 2008 and unbelievably nobody believed that we were victims of home invasion in San Juan Cosala. We moved from that house to another and were followed; we moved to another house one block from the Joco police station and were followed. Each time we were followed they tried to break in while we were there and they KNEW we were there. How sick is that. We couldn't wait to move, but could not afford it and finally begged for money from our family (who, by the way, did not believe it either) to get the heck out of there. Now I guess maybe everyone realizes that was the beginning of the end of "Paradise". My point is that the gang could have been after our 17 year old daughter, but my take is still that they just wanted to terrorize us. I am still very angry that my family could not stay where we wanted to spend the rest of our lives, but we are very lucky we are still alive. There is no way I would willingly move into Mexico at this time because I believe it will get worse before it gets better. I am sure there will be collateral damage in the form of Americans soon in the Lago de Chapala area eventually and I would never put my family in that situation.

Good luck with whatever decision you make. I can understand you wanting to get this right for your family. I feel very fortunate that my daughter was able to experience another culture when she did because we would never be able to move there now, even if we hadn't been exposed to the terror.

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