One tough old US Marine Sergeant
+3
hockables
Lady Otter Latté
DaveP
7 posters
Page 1 of 1
One tough old US Marine Sergeant
hahaha
Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.' The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'
Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York, so I'd like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last time.' The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.
Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'
The leader turned and asked, 'And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish? 'Kick me in the ass,' said the Marine... 'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?' 'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11. In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?'
'What?' replied the Marine, 'and have you three liberal assholes report that I was the aggressor.....?'
Semper Fi!
Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.' The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'
Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York, so I'd like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last time.' The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.
Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'
The leader turned and asked, 'And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish? 'Kick me in the ass,' said the Marine... 'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?' 'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11. In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?'
'What?' replied the Marine, 'and have you three liberal assholes report that I was the aggressor.....?'
Semper Fi!
DaveP- Share Holder
- Posts : 773
Join date : 2010-04-05
Location : San Antonio Tlayacapan
Humor : A little English
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
Leave it to a right winger to think that a kick in the ass would justify shooting and slashing 19 people to death. And, also to find that funny.
Do you feel better now that you got to type "liberal assholes"?
Do you feel better now that you got to type "liberal assholes"?
Lady Otter Latté- Share Holder
- Posts : 6760
Join date : 2011-07-26
Location : Chapala
Humor : Biting
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
Late in the night he regained consciousness…
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital’s ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function
and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say,
“You may not feel anything from the waist down.”
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply,
“Can I feel your tits, then?”
THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital’s ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function
and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say,
“You may not feel anything from the waist down.”
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply,
“Can I feel your tits, then?”
THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and I noticed a Burglar,
sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden.
Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him
over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly.
He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.
Astonished I got back into bed. , my lovely wife said, you're shaking, what is it?'
'You'll never believe what I've just seen', I said.
"That Bastard next door still has my fucking shovel'
sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden.
Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him
over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly.
He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.
Astonished I got back into bed. , my lovely wife said, you're shaking, what is it?'
'You'll never believe what I've just seen', I said.
"That Bastard next door still has my fucking shovel'
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
High School was fun and all, but isn't it time to leave it behind?
ltollefs- Share Holder
- Posts : 1130
Join date : 2013-03-24
Location : Chapala
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
ltollefs wrote:High School was fun and all, but isn't it time to leave it behind?
U do have an opinion... unfortunately, most seems to be about yourself and your opinion.
I'm forming an opinion of you as well....
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
That was your shovel? Sorry, I forgot to return it.
You can have it back now.
You can have it back now.
zenwoodle- Share Holder
- Posts : 1491
Join date : 2012-07-17
Age : 75
Location : Ajijic, formerly from Ontario
Humor : Sarcastic, but nobody seems to get it
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
zenwoodle wrote:That was your shovel? Sorry, I forgot to return it.
You can have it back now.
Not until he learns how to call "a spade a spade".
......and knows how to use it.
slainte39- Share Holder
- Posts : 9348
Join date : 2010-07-22
Re: One tough old US Marine Sergeant
hockables wrote:ltollefs wrote:High School was fun and all, but isn't it time to leave it behind?
U do have an opinion... unfortunately, most seems to be about yourself and your opinion.
I'm forming an opinion of you as well....
JW724- Newbie
- Posts : 5
Join date : 2014-09-18
Similar topics
» Asking the tough question
» Life's Tough Lessons
» Guadalajara Tough City
» Best of Acting Tough | Just For Laughs Compilation
» Tough Times for San Juan Cosala
» Life's Tough Lessons
» Guadalajara Tough City
» Best of Acting Tough | Just For Laughs Compilation
» Tough Times for San Juan Cosala
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum