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The husband store

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The husband store Empty The husband store

Post by E-raq on Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:00 pm

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:




You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!




So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:




Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs




She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:




Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.



'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'




So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:



Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.




'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.




She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:



Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.



'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'



Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:




Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.




She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:




Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)


PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.



The first floor has wives that love sex.



T he second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.



The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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Post by merry on Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:53 pm

I always wondered why women preened so much to impress men - the New Wives store confirms to me that it is a complete waste of time.

Merry

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Post by Axixic on Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:01 pm

"I finally found the perfect girl
Who could ask for more?
She's deaf and dumb and over- sexed
And owns a liquor store."

- Generally attributed to W.C. Fields.
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Post by merry on Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:06 pm

The Myth of the Perfect Man

The perfect man does not exist
And if he did would soon be kissed
By all those waiting for the event
So soon all, his energy would be spent
Indeed his lips would be so chafed
Swollen while his breath was gasped

Poor guy his chances seem so slim
No one would call him Lucky Jim
Without some clones he soon would be
Extinct again - what irony

Such fate may always face the best
Those they can't have get distressed
Stalkers make for their misery
I'm glad that I am just plain me.

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Post by E-raq on Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:33 pm

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was lucky enough to strike floor five after a very bad false start.

I know, sickening isn't it.


Hahahahaha.
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Post by CheenaGringo on Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:35 pm

Practice makes perfect?

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Post by E-raq on Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:36 pm

CheenaGringo wrote:Practice makes perfect?

Sure does Neil. In everything. Very Happy
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Post by hockables on Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:30 am



'Mr. Clark,
I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said,
'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said.
'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' razberry


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Post by gringal on Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:25 pm

I figure that if you're particular enough to get to floor five and stupid enough to get greedy after that...........you deserve floor six.
lol!

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Post by E-raq on Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:37 pm

gringal wrote: I figure that if you're particular enough to get to floor five and stupid enough to get greedy after that...........you deserve floor six.
lol!


Could not have said it better myself. Very Happy
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