The husband store
+2
merry
E-raq
6 posters
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The husband store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
T he second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
T he second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
E-raq- Share Holder
- Posts : 1998
Join date : 2012-05-27
Re: The husband store
I always wondered why women preened so much to impress men - the New Wives store confirms to me that it is a complete waste of time.
Merry
Merry
merry- Share Holder
- Posts : 823
Join date : 2011-11-03
Location : Chapala
Re: The husband store
"I finally found the perfect girl
Who could ask for more?
She's deaf and dumb and over- sexed
And owns a liquor store."
- Generally attributed to W.C. Fields.
Who could ask for more?
She's deaf and dumb and over- sexed
And owns a liquor store."
- Generally attributed to W.C. Fields.
Axixic- Share Holder
- Posts : 1553
Join date : 2012-05-28
Age : 67
Location : Axixic
Re: The husband store
The Myth of the Perfect Man
The perfect man does not exist
And if he did would soon be kissed
By all those waiting for the event
So soon all, his energy would be spent
Indeed his lips would be so chafed
Swollen while his breath was gasped
Poor guy his chances seem so slim
No one would call him Lucky Jim
Without some clones he soon would be
Extinct again - what irony
Such fate may always face the best
Those they can't have get distressed
Stalkers make for their misery
I'm glad that I am just plain me.
The perfect man does not exist
And if he did would soon be kissed
By all those waiting for the event
So soon all, his energy would be spent
Indeed his lips would be so chafed
Swollen while his breath was gasped
Poor guy his chances seem so slim
No one would call him Lucky Jim
Without some clones he soon would be
Extinct again - what irony
Such fate may always face the best
Those they can't have get distressed
Stalkers make for their misery
I'm glad that I am just plain me.
merry- Share Holder
- Posts : 823
Join date : 2011-11-03
Location : Chapala
Re: The husband store
Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was lucky enough to strike floor five after a very bad false start.
I know, sickening isn't it.
Hahahahaha.
I know, sickening isn't it.
Hahahahaha.
E-raq- Share Holder
- Posts : 1998
Join date : 2012-05-27
Re: The husband store
Practice makes perfect?
CheenaGringo- Share Holder
- Posts : 6692
Join date : 2010-04-17
Re: The husband store
CheenaGringo wrote:Practice makes perfect?
Sure does Neil. In everything.
E-raq- Share Holder
- Posts : 1998
Join date : 2012-05-27
Re: The husband store
'Mr. Clark,
I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said,
'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said.
'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
hockables- Share Holder
- Posts : 3748
Join date : 2010-04-06
Re: The husband store
I figure that if you're particular enough to get to floor five and stupid enough to get greedy after that...........you deserve floor six.
gringal- Share Holder
- Posts : 11955
Join date : 2010-04-09
Location : Lake Chapala (from CA)
Humor : occasionally
Re: The husband store
gringal wrote: I figure that if you're particular enough to get to floor five and stupid enough to get greedy after that...........you deserve floor six.
Could not have said it better myself.
E-raq- Share Holder
- Posts : 1998
Join date : 2012-05-27
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