Top 4 Adult Jokes - I Thought these to be Very Funny

Fourth Place:
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> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
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> His elbow goes into her breast.
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> They are both quite startled.
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> The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
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> I know you'll forgive me.'
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> She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
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> Third Place :
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> One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
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> The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
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> The husband, rejected, turns over..
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> A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
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> 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
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> Runner Up:
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> Bill worked in a pickle factory.
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> He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
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> To confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
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> He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
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> His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
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> One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
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> 'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
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> 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
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> 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
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> 'Yes, I did.' he replied.
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> 'My God, Bill, what happened?'
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> 'I got fired.'
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> 'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
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> 'Oh...she got fired too.'
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> Winner:
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> A couple had been married for 50 years.
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> They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
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> 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
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> 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
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> Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
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> 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
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> 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
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