Mid Life is a Great Time for Women

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Dr. Oz had a whole show on how great menopause will be . . .. Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear
without turning around..

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen, honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too..'

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell phone carrying teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin .

Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds...

Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds.

If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. (That's why I had to pass this on--I didn't want to risk deleting this..)
Smooches!

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly, Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably...
Never regret anything that made you smile!

............sent from a friend this morning...hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Ummmm, what happens if you read it? Do you start to puff up immediately, or is there time to prepare yourself?

Does responding to the post add to the weight gain, or reduce the chances?

So many questions, so few answers......

Just in case, consider this sent on to whoever reads this today. Ferret and I will be watching the view counts for a final tally on our potential weight loss.

Have a wonderful day ladies.

My sister and I have made a solemn oath that if either of us is ever in a coma the other one will pluck those awful hairs that want to grow on our chins.

Damn! I wish I had a sister. I just wrap 'em twice around my hand and give 'em a yank.