Little Larry

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said,“Do you think you're stupid, Larry?”
“No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What's the matter”, asked Larry “Giving up?”

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, “Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”
Larry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
“Yes” said the policeman. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.”
Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?”

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied, “Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”
Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the Milkman wants to buy Mom ......”

The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and
she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your
body goes first?'

Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'

'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'

Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front
of you and God just takes your hands first.'

'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Johnny, why
do you think it would be your feet?'

Johnny said: 'Well, I walked past Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night.
Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying:

'Oh God! I'm coming!'

If Dad hadn't pinned her down, I reckon we'd have lost her."