Domestic Help - From a Male Perspective

I am never in the room when they clean it and yes I do tidy up before I leave the room...........I know I am a freak.

Actually I wouldn't make that generalization! When we stay at our favorite hotel in Patzcuaro for a number of nights, we always pick the room up because we then know where to find our things. During our last visit there, we happened to return to the room midday and Kathy couldn't believe that one of the two maids was on her hands and knees scrubbing the shower. To us, that kind of detail work in the middle of our stay was over the top! Needless to say, we always leave the maids a nice tip on checkout day.

Kudos to the guys who pick up after themselves and share in both the cooking and cleaning.

When I split from my first husband, I swore I would only share my life with a guy who didn't think fairies came in the night to cook, clean and do laundry. I found him...it's only been thirty years but I think I'll keep him.

And, going back to household help, if you don't think our help doesn't go home and talk about the Canadian guy who cooks and does dishes then I'll eat my hat. The things you do and say and the manner in which you act have consequences whether intended or not.

This is refreshing.

Ferret, same here. Although my guy is a Brit. He took over the kitchen completely after I developed peripheral neuropathy. Hands don't work very well now. Crap happens. 24 years and counting.

To the guys, thanks for being you. Sorry to butt in on your thread, but ladies really appreciate men like you.

If the household help see this they may develop more egalitarian relationships as well. Life changes and so do people.

Cheers.

peasants: face it, most retired folks in ajijic look like they're the help. may i say more? except the help behave better. americans/canadians are nosy busy bodies. ever hear the expression "mind your own white business"? sit on that. the lady w/the bad back cant stop meddling. it seems the men in general (on this post) have a normal balanced take on workers, boundaries. (&not nasty or jealous like the "girls"). thanks for sharing, this thread makes me see its still a mans world.

Don't fall off your throne susan...you might hurt yourself.

ferret wrote:Don't fall off your throne susan...you might hurt yourself.

There are thrones under bridges?

hockables wrote:

bobnliz wrote:If you hire someone to work for you and you treat them other than as an employee...
They will, in their minds, cease to be... an employee.

In my opinion you are doing both yourself and your "employee" a disservice.

You are cheating yourself of the money you pay the her... and you are cheating them out of learning to be a good and valuable employee.
In effect you are teaching them that you do not know what you want and you don't care if they do a half-assed job.

You are also inflicting another work-ethically challenged job-seeker on the community.
People will always push the envelope... sooner or later, and as far as they can.
Save yourself a lot of grief and teach the maid exactly what you want and insist that she do it.
Treat her as a valued employee... when she becomes one.

Do not treat her like your friend... you are really NOT doing her any favors that way. Lizzy

That had better be Bob... this is the guy's side ya know!

No it's not... it's the pragmatic side. Lizzy

Well said, Ferret... I think the lady doth protest too much.

It is not our own worst faults that annoy us most in others...? Lizzy

Solovino wrote:

ferret wrote:Don't fall off your throne susan...you might hurt yourself.

There are thrones under bridges?

It would appear that there are imaginary thrones everywhere.

I'm starting to get the distinct feeling that we have a troll in our midst. It's hard for me to believe that in this day and age...anyone could have the "royal wand" stuck so far up..................

I think you're right, Kip.

bobnliz: well said. when you treat am employee other than an employee you confuse them. & turn them loose on others. they dont know boundaries, its not their fault all the time. when for example, the last 10 people they worked for, got overly close & personal, this becomes the norm for them. i have even heard of the maids boyfriend sleeping over as the maid needed a place to have a secret affair. what do expect happens to these americans? this crazy stuff, so far from the "job" itself this created monsters. giving the help power they should not have, other americans are targeted. i had let one person go as they were used to things that were not acceptable. (she only worked for americans during the last few years). when she saw i didnot give loans, &their other requests were turned down, she got hostile as well as confused. this was not a maid, but someone for driving & shopping errands. my behavior didnt match the former employers. i said we were not a good match, thankyou & goodbye. yes she is "friends" the people she works for. this is the main problem here.

"i have even heard of the maids boyfriend sleeping over as the maid needed a place to have a secret affair."

Now you are talking.about the male.perspective.tell us more.about sleeping over. or under.

susan wrote:bobnliz: well said. when you treat am employee other than an employee you confuse them. & turn them loose on others. they dont know boundaries, its not their fault all the time. when for example, the last 10 people they worked for, got overly close & personal, this becomes the norm for them. i have even heard of the maids boyfriend sleeping over as the maid needed a place to have a secret affair. what do expect happens to these americans? this crazy stuff, so far from the "job" itself this created monsters. giving the help power they should not have, other americans are targeted. i had let one person go as they were used to things that were not acceptable. (she only worked for americans during the last few years). when she saw i didnot give loans, &their other requests were turned down, she got hostile as well as confused. this was not a maid, but someone for driving & shopping errands. my behavior didnt match the former employers. i said we were not a good match, thankyou & goodbye. yes she is "friends" the people she works for. this is the main problem here.

this one is worth repeating...


The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.



She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze." "The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

Wife: "Oh yeah?"



Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

Maria: "Jor hozban did"

Wife increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"



Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.

"And did my husband say that as well?"




Maria: "No Señora . . . the gardener did."

hockables wrote:

susan wrote:bobnliz: well said. when you treat am employee other than an employee you confuse them. & turn them loose on others. they dont know boundaries, its not their fault all the time. when for example, the last 10 people they worked for, got overly close & personal, this becomes the norm for them. i have even heard of the maids boyfriend sleeping over as the maid needed a place to have a secret affair. what do expect happens to these americans? this crazy stuff, so far from the "job" itself this created monsters. giving the help power they should not have, other americans are targeted. i had let one person go as they were used to things that were not acceptable. (she only worked for americans during the last few years). when she saw i didnot give loans, &their other requests were turned down, she got hostile as well as confused. this was not a maid, but someone for driving & shopping errands. my behavior didnt match the former employers. i said we were not a good match, thankyou & goodbye. yes she is "friends" the people she works for. this is the main problem here.

this one is worth repeating...


The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.



She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze." "The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

Wife: "Oh yeah?"



Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

Maria: "Jor hozban did"

Wife increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"



Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.

"And did my husband say that as well?"




Maria: "No Señora . . . the gardener did."

See what happens when one gets a li'l bit too friendly with the help? Lizzy