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29 Struggles Only Canadians Will Understand

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Post by oatsie on Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:28 pm

29 Struggles Only Canadians Will Understand

1. Finding yourself regularly apologizing to inanimate objects that you bump into.
2. The uphill battle of texting with mittens on.
3. Faithfully buying roll-up-the-rim cups every day for two months, only to find the winner of the grand prize dug the cup out of a trashcan.
4. The tragic day in your life when you realized the house hippo doesn’t actually exist.
5. Having one of your major cities be known internationally as the city governed by the crack-smoking weirdo.
6. Quebec trying to break up with us every five minutes.
7. When traffic is held up by a flock of Canadian geese who are taking their sweet old time crossing the road.
8. Not being able to find a decent poutine or maple syrup when you go abroad.
9. Finding a sweet deal online — and then realizing you’re on the American version of the website.
10. Spellcheck refusing to recognize “Canadian English” as a language.
11. Being too lazy to fully defrost your windshield and trying to navigate your way to work through a tiny clearing in the driver’s side of the windshield.
12. That day in March when you get irrationally optimistic that spring is, in fact, on its way… only to wake up to a huge pile of snow the next morning.
13. Paying significantly more money for domestic flights than international ones.
14. Patriotically rooting for the Toronto Maple Leafs and then always having to drown your sorrows in a six pack of Canadian by the end of the night.
15. “This video is not available in your country.”
16. Realizing that most of the money in your wallet is actually Canadian tire money.
17. Watching Atlanta freak out about a snow storm that is reminiscent of any mild Canadian flurry.
18. Your International friends visiting Vancouver and expecting you to pop by for a weekend from Toronto.
19. People asking you if you went to Degrassi Junior High.
20. Having to customize every Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
21. Canadian. Netflix.
22. That entire season where it’s too cold for your spring jacket but too warm for your winter one.
23. Trying to type a question mark on a French keyboard and having it come out as É.
24. Sad Canadian versions of reality TV shows that make our country look kind of pathetic. (I’d like to personally apologize on behalf of The Bachelor Canada.)
25. People misunderstanding how to use “Eh” in a sentence.
26. Going to a French-speaking country and being appalled that they don’t understand Québécois.
27. People looking at you like you’re heartless when you tell them how delicious beaver tails are.
28. Never being sure if you’re supposed to sing the French or the English version of “Oh Canada.”
29. Being the brunt of all jokes from your American friends… but still knowing that there’s no place on earth you’d rather live.
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Post by Pedro on Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:37 pm

must be a yanqui that wrote this because they call canada geese canadian geese
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Post by Lady Otter Latté on Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:58 pm

Actually, pretty funny even for non-Canadians.
If you have lived in the U.S. Pacific Northwest and now are an American living in Mexico, AND have Canadian friends, you can understand most of these.
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Post by arbon on Sun Apr 20, 2014 12:35 am

How sad in the East. Eh


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Post by BobC on Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:09 am

I would add the opposite of #26: Taking four years of French from Sorbonne graduates and doing very well, then visiting Quebec and finding your language and theirs mutually incomprehensible!

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Post by Pedro on Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:27 am

ordinary high school french taken in ontario is not anywhere close to quebecquack.
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Post by CHILLIN on Sun Apr 20, 2014 10:32 am

29. An American teases an Englishman ' If it weren't for our troops - you would all be speaking German!!"

To which the Brit replies "If it weren't for your learnin' system, you would all be speaking English!!"
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Post by BobC on Sun Apr 20, 2014 10:46 am

Pedro wrote:ordinary high school french taken in ontario is not anywhere close to quebecquack.

And mine was taken 'way out west in Alberta! Not all that far from MIllet, if the truth be told!

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Post by Pedro on Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:01 am

now if ya did it in morinville at the catholic school,it might have been similar to quebecquack
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Post by zenwoodle on Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:05 am

My kids had a choice in languages, French or Spanish.
I told them that if they wanted to work as a civil servant they should take french.
And if they wanted to communicate with most of the people in the Americas, take Spanish.
They took Spanish eh.  Beer Beer 
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Post by CheenaGringo on Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:46 pm

On TOB, I see where this very same topic has turned into a "pizzing match" over maple syrup! People who dine on poutine would now like us to believe that maple syrup has a vintage and light or dark makes a huge difference?

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Post by eagles100 on Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:01 pm

CheenaGringo wrote:On TOB, I see where this very same topic has turned into a "pizzing match" over maple syrup!  People who dine on poutine would now like us to believe that maple syrup has a vintage and light or dark makes a huge difference?

There IS a difference :)
Perhaps you haven't experienced the different types.

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Post by CheenaGringo on Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:11 pm

Having spent time in Ontario, Quebec, upstate New York, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine, I would imagine that I have experienced a number of varieties? However, I have enough class that I sprinkle Jane's Crazy Salt and Crazy Pepper over my maple syrup application to fully enhance the flavor.

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Post by CheenaGringo on Tue Apr 22, 2014 6:55 pm

Just checked the label on our jug of maple syrup and it states: Ultra Organic Thrice Distilled Premier Grade Maple Syrup and that is followed by the tree number it was drawn from.

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