Two age appropriate jokes

Liked 'em both...second one is a little TOO true for Lakeside.

1

Old married couple married 30 years are sitting watching tv in their living room. Woman stands up and slaps her husband as hard as she can in the face and sits down. Husband is shocked and asks, "what was that for". Wife responds, "that's for 30 years of bad sex!!" Five minutes later the husband stands up and slaps his wife as hard as he can! Wife looks at her husband and asks, "what was that for??" Husband responds, "THAT'S FOR KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE!!”


2

Two very senior little ladies were discussing the ravages that time had wrought on their bodies.

Said one "My arthritis has gotten so bad I can hardly grip anything, my cataracts seem to get worse every day, I have gout in my right leg and can't bend my knee and I can't hear anything.

But thank God I can still drive.

#1   
#2    PERFECT

At Cabela's yesterday morning, I was ready to pay for my purchase of several boxes of 357 caliber ammunition, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun registry people running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.

I am not allowed back in the store and have been told to shop elsewhere in the future.

If you ask me, they need to make their instructions to us seniors a little more clear.   

I couldn't help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at a bar.

One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look tired."

His buddy says, "Dude I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time.  

I just don't know what to do."

A fellow about my age (​51​), sitting a couple of stools down had also over-heard the conversation.

He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says,  

"Marry her.  That'll put a stop to that crap !"