One From Down Under

A tourist in Australia was driving through the Australian Outback when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a kangaroo.

A few kilometers further on he came upon a small Outback town, parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.

He grabbed a beer and had a look around the bar and noticed a one legged guy sitting in the corner masturbating without a care in the world.

The tourist turned to the barman and said, "What sort of country is this?

A few kilometers down the road there was a guy having sex with a kangaroo and that guy in the corner is masturbating in full view of everyone."

The barman said, "You heartless bastard, he's only got one leg, how do you expect him to catch a kangaroo?"

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A Few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. Then, nothing. But, after another minute or two, another
loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.

“What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring
my customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet minding my own business," slurs
The drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and
Squeezes the hell out of my nuts."

The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says,
You're sitting on the mop bucket!"