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Just in time for Christmas

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Just in time for Christmas Empty Just in time for Christmas

Post by gringal on Mon Dec 13, 2010 3:26 pm

I nearly busted a gut on this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbejNNCTr7k


lol!

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Just in time for Christmas Empty Re: Just in time for Christmas

Post by hockables on Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:43 am




Merry Christmas Ya'll... :)

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Just in time for Christmas Empty Re: Just in time for Christmas

Post by espíritu del lago on Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:14 pm

Proof there is no Santa...

No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. Although most of these are insects and bacteria, I suppose this does not necessarily rule out flying reindeer.

According to the Population Reference Bureau, 378 million people celebrate Christmas worldwide. With an average of 3.5 children per home, that's 91.8 million homes for Santa to visit.

Thanks to different time zones, Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That means for each celebrating household with at least one good child in it, Santa has .001 seconds to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, place presents under the tree, eat the cookies, drink the milk, and return to the sleigh.

Assuming that all 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed throughout the earth, the total trip time will be 75.5 million miles. That means Santa's sleigh must move at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle (the Ulysses space probe) moves at 27.4 miles per second, and that’s through the vacuum of space, not in the atmosphere.

Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized toy (weighing 2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying a payload of 321,300 tons, not counting Saint Nick himself.

A standard reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even if we assume that a flying, “magical”, reindeer can pull 10 times more than a normal reindeer, Santa would still need 214,200 reindeer to pull the sleigh. The reindeer, payload, Santa and sleigh would therefore weigh more than 353,430 tons. This is more than three and a half times the weight of the aircraft carrier USS Nimitz.

This 353,430 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates tremendous air resistance, heating the reindeer in the same manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would therefore absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy, per second, each.

The lead reindeer, as a result, will burst into flames, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating massive sonic booms in their wakes. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 0.00426 seconds. Santa will be subjected to acceleration forces 17,500 times greater than gravity.

Assuming that Santa weighs 250 pounds, he would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,375,000 pounds of force, crushing him instantaneously into a thin, red paste.

Therefore, if Santa ever did exist, he died long, long ago; a mere fraction of a second after attempting his first gift-giving excursion.
_____________________________________________________________________

I heard ,Saint Nick is not dead, but in prison charged with a multitude of Break and Enters
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Just in time for Christmas Empty 2010 Joke Of The Year

Post by hockables on Thu Dec 23, 2010 8:40 pm

Two little ole ladies are in the park, sitting on a bench, minding their own business....

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Just in time for Christmas Empty Re: Just in time for Christmas

Post by hockables on Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:30 pm

What is the hardest part of making a blonde snowman??




Making a hollow snowball for the head Very Happy



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Just in time for Christmas Empty Re: Just in time for Christmas

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