INSIDE LAKESIDE
Log In or Register

Check your spam/junk folder for activation e-mail after you register.

Are you having a bad day?

Go down

Are you having a bad day? Empty Are you having a bad day?

Post by DaveP on Thu Jul 04, 2013 12:29 pm

Are you having a bad day?

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a
burned-out section of forest while assessing the
damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was
dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks
on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from
burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental
records provided a positive identification.
Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the
man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the
forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire
as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large dip buckets.

Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading....


Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his
wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine,
the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The
man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged
along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room
to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle,
and the shattered patio door.

She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly
large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to
meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband,
the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it
outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled
gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into
the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.

About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the
ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn
himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard,
one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He
fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Still having a bad day? Just remember,
it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill inAlaska was $80,000.. At a special
ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals
were being released back into the wild amid cheers and
applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view,
a killer whale ate them both..

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen
shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with
some kind of wire running from his waist towards the
electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of
wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that
moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.


STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the
cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn ,
Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke
loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding
madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to
death.

What?! STILL having a bad day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender'
stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened
it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?
DaveP
DaveP
Share Holder
Share Holder

Posts : 732
Join date : 2010-04-05
Location : La Canacinta
Humor : A little English

Back to top Go down

Are you having a bad day? Empty Re: Are you having a bad day?

Post by hockables on Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:31 pm

A recent study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, yogurts, and shit like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

Take care out there...... Beer 

hockables
Share Holder
Share Holder

Posts : 3736
Join date : 2010-04-06

Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum