INSIDE LAKESIDE
Log In or Register

Check your spam/junk folder for activation e-mail after you register.

The Brunette..............

Go down

The Brunette.............. Empty The Brunette..............

Post by espíritu del lago on Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:07 pm

The brunette
A brunette was standing on the side of a busy freeway chanting "87, 87, 87, 87..." when a blond walks up and asks her what she is doing. "I'm counting" replies the brunette. Curious, the blonde asks if she can count with her. The brunette says "ok, its easy. Just stand here and say 87."

After a few minutes the blonde looks at the brunette and exclaims "Hey! This is fun!" The brunette replies "it is fun. You know whats even more fun? If you stand in the middle of the road and count" The blonde says "OK!" and goes out to the middle of the freeway chanting "87, 87, 87, 8*BAM*" She gets hit by a car.

The brunette laughs and resumes counting "88, 88, 88, 88..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Texas Declares War...President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hello, President Obama " a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at the Joes Crab Shack, Houston Texas , I am callin' to tell ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army ?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry 's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. " President Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harolds's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Oh Lord," said Archie, "l'll have at call you back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. " President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners.."
espíritu del lago
espíritu del lago
Share Holder
Share Holder

Posts : 4399
Join date : 2010-04-05
Humor : Sarcastic

Back to top Go down

The Brunette.............. Empty Re: The Brunette..............

Post by espíritu del lago on Thu Oct 28, 2010 8:07 am

THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they
go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

BONUS QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.


Nominated as the world's best short joke

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?
'Not yet,' she replied . cheers
espíritu del lago
espíritu del lago
Share Holder
Share Holder

Posts : 4399
Join date : 2010-04-05
Humor : Sarcastic

Back to top Go down

The Brunette.............. Empty Re: The Brunette..............

Post by espíritu del lago on Thu Oct 28, 2010 8:22 am

espíritu del lago
espíritu del lago
Share Holder
Share Holder

Posts : 4399
Join date : 2010-04-05
Humor : Sarcastic

Back to top Go down

The Brunette.............. Empty Re: The Brunette..............

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum