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Do you Dance?

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Do you Dance? Empty Do you Dance?

Post by kipissippi on Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:40 pm

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas , leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance ... Never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.

Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 10 gauge barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's Ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir ... But... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:
Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
Don't mess with old folks, they didn't get old by being stupid.

I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

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Post by hockables on Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:13 pm

Medical Miracle

An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months
together, the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor.

The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going
to be a mother."

"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."

"I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was
impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle."

"I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked
down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a
rage, she dialed her husband.

"Hello" she heard in his familiar halting voice. Shocked

She screamed, "You rotten SOB. You got me pregnant!"

There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, "Who's
calling please?." Shocked
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Post by hockables on Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:25 pm


There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident..
He became very depressed because he had loved to play Golf ..

One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with.. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.

He asked, 'Why are you so happy anyway?'
He said, 'I'm NOT happy. My balls are itchy
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