Moving to Pakistan

Dear Mr. Harper:
(Canada's Prime Minister for my American friends)

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Pakistan for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply fly from Canada into Pakistan , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Asif Ali Zardari, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Pakistani Government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Urdu by English- speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on Canadian culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the Canadian flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Pakistani driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Pakistan, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Pakistani police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the Canadian flag from my housetop, put Canadian Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 1st. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Pakistani people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need income tax credits so that although I don’t pay Pakistan taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Pakistan Government pays $4,500.00 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Pakistan Social Security program so that I’ll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who fly to Canada from Pakistan . I am sure that President Asif Ali Zardari won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Gee, can I post a thinly-disguised political rant in Jokes and Riddles and get away with it too?

Lady Otter Latté wrote:Gee, can I post a thinly-disguised political rant in Jokes and Riddles and get away with it too?

How about totally undisguised?

I'm always fascinated that some people (usually the same people) who are so obsessed by seeing somebody else get something for nothing also have little concern about the costs of war.....anywhere. But no matter. I suspect this post, which is not about either humor or riddles.......may disappear.

Maybe he just doesn't like Pakistanis.

He doesn´t like immigrants. I don´t think he cares where they come from.

I assume non of you are Canadians or you would get the humor. It is a play on what Canada gives to it's immigrants. You could insert any country in lieu of Pakistan.

Yes, I have read the same sort of drivel in American anti-immigration rants. What it is "playing" off of is obvious, even to this American eye. What it is missing is a trace of humor. Why is this "funny"?

Different strokes for different folks. I probably think a lot of things are funny that you do not and vice versa.

Lady Otter Latté wrote:Yes, I have read the same sort of drivel in American anti-immigration rants. What it is "playing" off of is obvious, even to this American eye. What it is missing is a trace of humor. Why is this "funny"?

Anyone who doesn't get that has to be thick as brick. Where's the humor?

It is not often I read or hear a joke and fail to see a shred of anything funny about it. Usually, even if it is not my type of humor I can understand why some people might find it amusing. To me, the OP is a nasty political rant written by someone without the balls or intellect to directly attack something he is angry about so he pretends he is "just kidding." Anyone seeing through it can always be accused of not having a sense of humor.

As long as we can talk about Canadian politics,I have a question;Is it true that Harper is often compared to George W by Canadians?

Do you mean Canadians think Harper is not too bright and a sock puppet for his father´s cronies?

Lady Otter Latté wrote:It is not often I read or hear a joke and fail to see a shred of anything funny about it. Usually, even if it is not my type of humor I can understand why some people might find it amusing. To me, the OP is a nasty political rant written by someone without the balls or intellect to directly attack something he is angry about so he pretends he is "just kidding." Anyone seeing through it can always be accused of not having a sense of humor.

You couldn't have hit the nail on the head more squarely. A disgusting, feeble attempt to hide political immigration policy biases in....What?....a joke? I'll laugh all the way to the shrink.

Canada is in the top echelon of many categories regarding the quality of life...must be doing something right.
Only the idiot joke writer would want to move to Pakistan. Even most Canadians moving to Mexico don't ask for that much from the Mexican government.

viajero wrote:As long as we can talk about Canadian politics,I have a question;Is it true that Harper is often compared to George W by Canadians?

Don't know about that, but this Canadian is comparing him to Asif Ali Zardari...and he is coming out pretty good.

CB is right. You really have to be Canadian or British to see the humour in this. It was sent to me yesterday from Canada, by a Canadian who saw the humour in it. It is not a political rant on my part and I did not see it as a political rant. I live in Mexico and I have no political position on this. I just see the ironic humour.

What would any country do if "we" immigrated there.

Being British I can see the farcical aspect. Some people obviously cannot see any humour in anything.

I feel sorry for them.

"Anyone seeing through it can always be accused of not having a sense of humor." -- me

I rest my case.

It's tongue in cheek about those who want to move abroad but don't want anything to change. I did the following quickly...but it's still true of the "takers" in this world.

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply fly from Canada into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws since they take too much time and will cost us money.
. So, would you mind telling your buddy, the President of Mexico, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family such as Seguro Popular
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Spanish Government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English- speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on Canadian culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the Canadian flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch since anything that happens at school is the school’s responsibility.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services but I don’t want to take the test and I don’t want to pay for it.
9. I will drive my huge gas guzzling car to Mexico even though the town roads are very narrow, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Transito police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the Canadian flag from my housetop, put Canadian Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 1st. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps from DIF
15. Naturally, I'll expect really cheap rent because I will be putting a lot of money into the local economy.
16. I'll need income tax credits so that although I don’t pay Hacienda taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Government allows me to drive my U.S. plated car which no charge to me.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I’ll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you appreciate the positive impact that we will have on local businesses with our Canadian dollars.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

I get that this is a way of listing all the real or imagined benefits immigrants get in Canada, but it is nor "funny." It is just another way to make a list. It might as well say: "I am angry and resentful about Canada´s treatment of immigrants because they get:
1) free medical care
2) bureaucrats who speak their language
3) all governement forms printe din their language
etc., etc.
To be funny, this would need to be presented in some creative or unexpected form. This is not it.
By the way, if Canada really does do all that they are a wealthy country indeed.

I like Ferret's take on it. It's also true about many people who move from Canada or the states to Mexico with the expectation that freebies will be passed out and that they are "special". What's amusing is that back in Canada or the U.S. they usually had to pay for whatever they received in the way of medical care....or use of the highways.

It's a real hoot when they flock to the Seguro Popular system. They will have a real wake up call if they ever wind up in one of those wards with none of the comforts of home. Surprise: they got what they paid for. We usually do.

That Joke wuz in Poor Taste cause it picks on Harper...

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Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars at several motorway services in England.
Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend .
Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day.
Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day.
Ahmed says, "Look at your sign. It says,

"I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."

Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money.
You will still have no job and a large family.
Now look at my sign."
So Hamid looks up and Ahmed's sign reads:

"I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan "

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gonna tell a joke.... tell a funny one....

gringal wrote:I like Ferret's take on it.

I haven't figured out what her "take" is....positive or negative?

Really? There is no positive or negative aspect to it. I was born a Brit, I get the irony.
I divide the world into givers and takers. The OP was a spoof on "takers" and it didn't matter what country or people was put into the equation. They exist unfortunately.
I know a good many immigrants in Canada who are hardworking "givers" ...and that includes giving up a professional career in their homeland to make the move to Canada where they have to start from scratch again. They work hard, they follow the rule of law and they pay taxes.
Then there's those takers...and some of those are Canadian (many generations) born. I have a stepson like that.
If you can't laugh at the irony of their "entitlement issues", you'd cry.

It's called satire, people...

Lady Otter Latté wrote:I get that this is a way of listing all the real or imagined benefits immigrants get in Canada, but it is nor "funny." It is just another way to make a list. It might as well say: "I am angry and resentful about Canada´s treatment of immigrants because they get:
1) free medical care
2) bureaucrats who speak their language
3) all governement forms printe din their language
etc., etc.
To be funny, this would need to be presented in some creative or unexpected form. This is not it.
By the way, if Canada really does do all that they are a wealthy country indeed.

So YOU don't think it is funny. We get that, but why are you dictating to us what WE should think is funny. Why don't you just put "I don't think this is funny" and end it there?

You are absolutely right. Enjoy your laugh.